Y.I. Made This Wednesday About Nursing homes

This was supposed to be a general blog post, regarding nursing homes, (but not a Y.I. Wednesday post)... and how they inspire me to respect history, elders and the nursing homes in general...

But,  

I was not able to finish the post, 

before the untimely passing of my grandmother.

It's been a week, since the passing of my 'Nanny'.

She was the light of my soul and the one who taught me most of what I know. I've had plenty of time to think, but not enough time to comprehend. A mother who stepped in, when my own could not (or would not). A vigilant, Noble, dedicated mother and human being...who saw a need in a child's life and filled it. I respect her, and love her for that.

I mourn the passing of such a significant person, and I hope that when you see an older person, a retired, elderly, convalescent-home-bound human being, your heart will feel a certain salute...to the old mentors we will miss.

Here is the start, and the unfortunate finish of my original Nursing Home Yellow Inspiration Post:

Nursing Homes

They all have a history...
And in them, resides someones mother, aunt, wife, sister and or mother.

A few weeks ago, as my daughter sang the National Anthem at a local old folks' home, I looked on in honor, pride and respect...to all of those who came before me.

I thought of those elders who have paved the way, torn a path, been the guiding light.

I respected their truths, love and words.

I never, in  a million years, expected to be burying my own grandmother this week.

But, I am.

The feelings I had that day, in that nursing home, will never ever come close to those I have today.

She is gone...I am here...and someday, we will all be in her place.

R.I.P. Nanny.

You will not have to eat that horrible food.

You will be slim, beautiful, healthy and unwrinkled...

You will be with the Lord 

and Liz Taylor.

I love you.

Liz Taylor-
And the gaze my grandmother had in her time.
Liz was someone my grandmother not only resembled, but admired.
(A picture she would be glad to be likened to.)

What Was I Thinking?!?!

I gave up chocolate for Lent.

Please, someone, tell me what I was thinking.

Ever notice that when you decide to give something up, it almost never fails, you see it everywhere?

I sat down to watch T.V. tonight and YEP, YOU guessed it! A Lindt chocolate commercial. 

And so my teenage daughter came in from the kitchen when she heard the commercial and told me that I just couldn’t seem to get away from it. (She did this with a cruel and pitying chuckle; easy for her-she isn’t participating in Lent…Grrrrrr.) 

She’s right though, it's everywhere I go.

Even a quick trip into CVS requires a strategic plan and an enormous amount of willpower. I went there yesterday and  had to be sure to  avoid certain isles since the Easter candy is out in full force.

Then when I had a sore throat this week, my guy scooped me a nice bowl of ice-cream….but since it was a mixed ice-cream container of chocolate and vanilla, he had to separate the vanilla from the chocolate….

I am not sure who had it worse, me or him…..he gave up ice-cream for Lent…

All I can say is this: It’s going to be a loooooong  40 days. (Maybe not as long for me as for my little kids’ will be without Wii and the computer;)

I realize now that giving up chocolate will mean no chocolate syrup on my ice-cream (or IN my ice-cream), no chocolate chips in my pancakes, no chocolate chip cookies (which happen to be my favorite) and no chocolate candy.

Chocolate is in so many things.  It’s in ice-cream, hot cocoa, candies, and even in some specialty coffees.

Well, this is what I chose. 

I chose to make a sacrifice, to honor and appreciate.

I know what I am honoring…but I also know what I will appreciate- a nice big chocolate Cadbury Egg at Easter and then finally the freedom to eat as much chocolate as I like!!!..…;)

Through this, I've realized that when I can’t have something, I want it even more!

Something else I've realized is how much I depend on chocolate as a crutch.

If I’m grumpy I grab a piece of chocolate. If I am hungry and don’t want to wait till dinner I will grab a piece of chocolate. If I am feeling happy, I will grab a piece of chocolate. If I am tired of the chilly, wet weather, I will make hot cocoa and chocolate chip cookies....

Chocolate is my friend.

Oi.

I will miss you Chocolate… 

See you in April…..

Truly,

Amber

It was Christmas in our house last night....

About four hours ago, it was Christmas in our house. The children are exhausted and so are the parents.
We had a wonderful evening that began with participating in the narative, The Voices of Christmas, at church. I am amazed at my children's desire to participate as well as their strength and sacrifice every week, and the past several days practicing. Our first performance went beautifully. Nothing like last nights practice where mommy got stage fright!

My nine and six year olds really inspired me....they didn't miss a beat and supported me and prayed for me when it was my turn.

The kids will be spending Christmas this year with their father in Texas. I will miss them so very much. But that is one of the reason's we had our celebration tonight. We did not want to miss the fun of Christmas just because they won't be here. We wanted to experience it still.

While they are away, Santa will drop off a little something and fill their stockings. (He couldn't make a special trip from the North Pole this early in December.)

I hope that my children learn to improvise, think positive and problem solve. Because instead of waiting, complaining and such, we just really worked hard to work in a special night and time to do our Christmas.
Then, we will celebrate New Years on a special night as well.

Being a family of divorce, we have celebrated many special occassions on the 'off' days. Such as: Mother's Day, Birthdays, Halloween and now Christmas.

To us, it isn't the date matters, it's the company you are with and how you celebrate.
I would imagine that it's similar for those in the service, or whom travel so often and such far distances. Loved ones cannot always be together on the 'nationally declared' holiday, but at least, at some point they will be together.

Any day can be a day of celebration...as long as you're together, that's what matters.

Merry Christmas to my family.. and Happy Saturday to you.

Amber

A Family Dinner Tradition

Years ago, I read in a popular parenting magazine, about a family dinner tradition, where every evening at the dinner table this family shared the good and bad things that happened to each of them during the course of their day. I read it in a doctor’s office somewhere, took the idea home that night and began using it.

Every evening when we sit down to eat dinner together we take turns sharing our good and bad things, no matter if we are rushing off to an event afterwards, or not. My family is so used to this tradition that we could be traveling, sitting in a restaurant eating, and all of a sudden one of the younger children will turn to the family and say, ‘OK! Who wants to start?’ They even bring it out when we have company…of course they allow our guest to go first with their good thing.

The good and bad things always lead us into other conversations, and we end up realizing some really nice things about one another. It creates opportunities to talk. We all know how kids can give one word answers like: Yep, Fine, No, Yes, Okay, and the infamous three word answer to everything: I don’t know. Kids don’t always like to talk. They need help to find things to talk about. This is a great way to open kids up and get to know them.

I like to try different things, so, during the week of Thanksgiving I asked the children to add in what they were thankful for, and the responses were beautiful. They were thankful for God, food, a stable routine, school, love and health.

Early on in the tradition I added: learning, funny and random acts of kindness.  It takes time, depending on how large your family is, but it makes everyone feel important and it brings us closer together. You learn about your children’s day, really find out what they have learned, and even how they may have endured something difficult.

Sometimes when the bad things are shared, the kids sometimes realize that the bad thing flipped positively, can be a good thing. When they have done something embarrassing and it’s their bad thing and they admit to it, it helps the child learn that it’s ok, everyone still loves you…and when grownups mess up and share their mistakes, it lets the kids know that we aren’t perfect and they tend to learn empathy.

Looking each other in the eyes every night, taking time to enjoy a wonderful meal together, having no other choice but to sit still and listen to one another, keeps everyone connected in an ever increasing, fast paced, high tech world. (As long as we leave our cell-phones away from the table;)

It’s our way of taking a family time-out.