Y.I. Wednesday: Why I'm Not a Jerk

This may seems like an odd Y.I. for Wednesday, but when I explain, I think you will understand. 

Read this:

Three things in human life are important: 

The first is to be kind. 

The second is to be kind. 

And the third is to be kind.

-HENRY JAMES (1843–1916)

Now ponder this:

Aren't there enough people in the world who spend most of their time purposely making others miserable?

How will it solve anything if I were to adopt the mentality, 'give an eye for an eye'?

How would I be able to lead a peaceful, happy life, if I were to spend my life being mean to anyone just because they make a mistake? 

Most people know me. They know I'm really nice. 

I'm generally known as patient and giving and offer people the benefit of the doubt.

But, those same people know that I have a line, and when it's crossed, I change, then simply cease the above.

Though, I will never be a jerk in the process.

Politeness, Professionalism and Maturity is always called for.

Being a jerk is not.

Think about a time when somebody cut you off or got irritated with you in the store - what did you do?

Did you get mad? Did you slam your hand down, or maybe yell at them?

Could you have just let it go? 

Or could you have dealt with it verbally, minus the drama?

We have a choice.

Being a jerk to someone whose not so nice to you won't ever make things better, and in the rare case that they may have just received some really bad news, and their mind just isn't with it at the moment, it's possible they don't realize they are doing it, and therefore do not deserve to be treated poorly, but instead need some compassion.

Some things to think about:

It's not always personal, so don't always take it as such.

How you act reflects upon you.

What you do will come back to you, so treat other's how you want to be treated.

And for those who deal with the aforementioned 'repeat-offending-purposeful-jerks'? 

Keep calm and carry on, because:

A) It still has nothing to do with you.

B) They're not worth the escalated blood pressure.

What do you NOT do and Why?

Love

Today, I blow dried a Kitty.

Not a real kitty, my son’s stuffed Kitty. But I blow dried it none the less.

While making dinner, my son was helping to set the table, and when he opened the drawer where we keep the place mats, he dropped his kitty into our real cat’s water bowl.

He froze, moaned and then looked at me. He seemed so desperate. He just had this stare as if to say, ‘HELP!’.

I scooted over to him, took Kitty and shook him off over the sink. Then I squeezed his paws into a clean dish towel.

To me, that was not enough for poor Kitty. He was hurt, he fell and he was all wet and dirty.

So Mommy said that Kitty needed some more help. We cradled Kitty in the dish towel and took him to the bathroom and laid him on the counter. As I proceeded to pull out the blow dryer from underneath the sink, my son’s eyes got really big and he said, ‘Oh no! What are you going to do?!’.

I shook my head and said, ‘Well…his paws are still pretty wet…we’re going to have to blow dry him’. I diligently rubbed and blew dry all four of Kitty’s paws. 

In five minutes, Kitty was dry. My son had giggled the whole time, I even laughed a little. I then handed Kitty over to him; they were off and running as if it had never happened.

It was both tragic but cute. Kitty is so important to my son. He takes Kitty everywhere;  to breakfast, to watch a movie and takes Kitty to his Dad’s. When you have an attachment like that to something, it’s scary and sad for a little kid to think of something bad happening to it, and worse, something bad happening to it and someone not understanding how much it means to you to make it all better and save it.

I wanted to make it somewhat of a big deal that Kitty fell in the water and needed blow drying, because I think it showed my son that I cared for Kitty just as much as he did. I wanted him to see that I understood.

As a parent, some things may not seem as trivial to us, as they are to our children. And they may happen at such inconvenient times. But we need to look at things through their eyes. If we consider it from their point of view we are better able to relate to them. In the end they feel validated; i.e., Loved.

Over the years, I have very carefully and patiently hand washed hazelnut coffee off of a non-machine-washable stuffed Lamby and sewn her smile back on twice. I have sewn and re-sewn and patched, Soft Blankie. I have, time and again, trimmed and tied into knots Blue and Yellow from fraying.

I have also, at eight months pregnant, gone to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to replace a two-day-old-goldfish for my three year old, just so in the morning, she would not cry.

The things we do for someone when we love them is just amazing, and it's not just parents who will go out of their way for a loved one.

When we really truly love someone, we will go to the ends of the earth to protect them from being hurt or to help them feel better. Equally, we will go to great lengths to prove we understand them and feel for them.

Having empathy and compassion is a major component in love.
It's also the motivating factor behind how far we will go to save our loved one from pain.

Understanding how someone feels, i.e., validating them, preserves their emotional well-being, which is essential to them feeling loved and have the ability to trust.

I understood how my son felt, and I was able to go the extra mile help him feel like I really loved him, and his Kitty. In the end he feels very special and trusts that I understand and love him, all because I blow dried his Kitty.

Now  if Kitty fell in the toilet, my son and I would have to have a talk….but he didn't, he just got a little wet.....thank goodness.



Kitty feels better now that he's dry....so does my son:)

Amber