How Do You Know If It's Right?

What woman does not want to plan a wedding?

Ummm,  well....Me, I think...

I should be really excited to pick out flowers, food, cake, and such, not to mention the dress! I mean, come on, what girl does not desire the dress! But I'm exhausted already! And I haven’t done much! LOL!

Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled to be getting married to the love of my life (gpf) and I am very happy that we will be making a commitment to each other in front of God, our family and our friends, but I’m just not so keen on the overwhelming amount of choices and their matching prices.

Guess I’m just not that fond of the whole process.

Many times since our very first discussions of marriage, I/we have thought, ‘Let’s go away and get married! Let’s just go to our pastor and do it with just us and the kids. Let’s not get married…’

But, somewhere in between, ‘he moved to Ohio, the kids singing wedding songs daily and many gpf’s’ later we decided to have a wedding. Small and sweet. Traditional but not, a weekend and not just a day; we are doing it. And there's lots of things that need to be done between now and then.

I thought about getting a wedding consultant. I talked to a few and for the money, it didn’t seem like a bad deal.

Though, I feel I have great taste, good planning skills and smarts, so why would I pay someone to do the very things that I know how to?

I had already known where we were getting married and many other details, so when the engagement became official, it made no sense to hire someone other than myself.

Since my beau is your traditional male, stating, ‘It’s all you Honey; It’s your day’; only picking out one thing; the only thing I don’t want in the wedding: a bride-dragging-her-groom-cake topper...(ha ha, very funny Ry), I'm on my own with this planning stuff.

It’s not the marriage, the weekend or even the money that really concerns me, as much as it is the amount of resources, number of choices and issues like the order of planning.

For instance, my mistake so far was trying to plan things before having the dress.

After I realized that there’s not much that can be done without it, I’ve finally gotten out there and looked at dresses. No problem right? I’m a female; this should be a piece of cake.

Well, a little history on me (there’s a reason I didn’t go for the dress first):

·         I hate clothes shopping.

·         I like to find what I want quickly; get in and out, so I can spend my time and money on  
other things.

·         If I am in a store for more than 20 minutes, trying on more than 4 items I’m ready to break out like a prison inmate. (I hate shopping for clothes with the passion; and my dear friends can attest to this.)

I decided to do this the easy way. I picked out a picture of a dress online and decided to get that one!

Yeah, No.

It doesn’t work that way; because, I couldn’t find it…and when I tried on something like it…blach…

So I decided to visit another little shop nearby my house, figuring a local shop would be better logistically for future fittings, etc.

Yeah… No, again.

They were so kind and helpful, but I still wasn't sure about the dress.

Wedding planning has not been a pretty sight to say the least. And this is only task #1…ha ha...

I’ve already had two photos of dresses I thought would be the ones, and saved them to my cell phone… I kept looking at them and thinking about them during the week, one of them even had a deposit on it. I kept wondering which one was the one. I hemmed and hawed. I asked for opinions. And still wasn't sure which one to choose.

Then, just to make things worse, I have added another dress to the collection this past weekend.

BUT!

Great News!

This IS the ONE!

‘How do I know it’s the one’, you say? ‘You’ve already chosen twice, silly girl!?’

Relax; I know it’s right. Because with the others I didn’t know if it was right.

As I keep saying about my future-husband, ‘When you know, you know’.

And like I refer to my ex-husband; If you have to ask yourself, ‘how do you know?’, than he’s not the one.

Whether it’s a husband, a dress, a car or a job; when you know without a doubt and never have to ask if it's right…

You’ve got the one.

ü  Groom

ü  Dress

                Cake Topper....to be determined...

....'Butt'..I think I like this one much better;)

This one's for you, Honey.......I found one with a Pats Theme...

Truly,

Amber

Taking the Plunge Again

I’m getting married in ten months and it’s not my first time.

I was married in 1995 and stayed married for ten years.

I worked hard on my marriage and resorted to divorce only after I felt I’d exhausted every avenue of repairing my relationship. And as I was asked in the court room that day, ‘is this marriage broken down without the possibility of repair’; I answered yes, it had. I was done and clearly he’d been done for a while.

I had broken dreams and my life was upside down. But I knew that I was an amazing mother and person, and that whatever problems I had, I could fix, and whatever problems he had, I would never be able to fix.

Divorce leaves a person broken and jaded. It’s a tumultuous event and it uproots all that you are and all that you know.  But, in some severe cases, it’s necessary.

I walked away certain that I never wanted to get married again.

As I moved farther along past the divorce, I realized that getting remarried was probably something I would like to do again but I didn’t know when I’d be ready.

To actually get married a second time, I had to be absolutely, positively  sure that it was the right thing. Especially, since I have three children.

I am sure that this marriage is the right thing and I only wish I knew how to tell my if my first husband was right before I got married to him.

Looking back, the aha moment for me is when I spent the entire month prior to my first wedding, asking everyone, ‘how do you know it’s right?’, that’s a very good indication that it’s not.

Share your thoughts on how you knew your spouse was the right one. How do you know when someone is not the right one?

Truly,
Amber