I’m an addict

I love to solve problems.  

I don’t like Crossword puzzles or Sudoku very much, but I do enjoy the challenge of figuring things out. I will take anything apart and attempt to put it back together again. I thoroughly enjoy fixing things.

I get so excited to improve anything and everything.

From finances to customer service; writing to parenting; relationships to faith, I think I can always make it better.

That’s right, I’m an addict.

I’m addicted to self-help material; like how-to books, videos and articles. I spend hours in the non-fiction-self-help section of libraries and bookstores. I write about it, dream about and l annoy my friends and family with it.

But with that being said…

Even I am starting to get sick of the influx of media trying to sell me answers to my problems.

I have a Twitter account, Facebook page and a couple of different email addresses and there is not a day (ssshhheeeshh…a minute) that goes by where my phone and/or computer are not blowing up with quick-fixes for my life.

“I’m fine.  Thank you very much.” is all I want to say sometimes.

On magazine covers, on sidebars advertisements of websites, and in the pages of the newspaper…

If it’s not a better food, it’s a better drink. If it’s not a better body, it’s better clothes. It it’s not better thinking, it’s better medicine. The list goes on and on.

Since when did being ourselves become such a problem? Don’t we like ourselves at ALL?

What is the world coming to? I mean if this is what the media is selling; doesn’t that mean this is what we’re buying?

What happened with being content? What happened to acceptance?

 And what the heck happened to ‘This is Me’.  Like ‘Me or not’.

I admit it (and like I’ve said previously), you don’t have to twist my arm to work hard at fixing something in my life; I am all for advancement, but man, is it just me or is the world on ‘fix-it-overload’?

Everybody knows something that they want to teach you. And as wonderful as it is to want to help others and share our experiences, (I feel like I am one of those people) I wonder if others are sick of hearing it.

Are we asking for the advice or is it unsolicited? And can we even tell the difference?

I’m usually the one who says, ‘Yes, bring it on; let’s do this!’ and lately I feel more like, ‘Shut up already.’

I have to wonder…. when even I am sick of this stuff, what are other people are thinking?

Not one of us on this planet is perfect. Not one of us is pristinely healthy, or perfectly well versed or wonderfully well-behaved  24/flipping/7.  And if someone pretends to be perfect, they are full of it.

How many celebrities have we seen, including presidents of the United States, go down??? Hmmm?

If we were perfect, there would not be these things called faux pas, accidents, my bads, oopsies or #@$! And no one would ever regret a thing and we would never have to say ‘I’m sorry’.

To err is human.

And, it doesn’t matter what type of degree you hold, what your background is, or even how much money you have, you will not be perfect.

So, that leads me to this question; Self-help, I think, is a necessity. Isn’t it? I mean, what would we do without the option of getting better at something, or having the ability and freedom to improve a weakness or downfall? After all, that is our second chance.

This leads me to another question: where is the balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance?

I do not know the answer, but I am determined to find out.

                  (To be Continued…)

A couple of quotes that seemed fitting:

Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.-J. Donald Walters Author, Lecturer

Loving Yourself is Healing the World!-Jaymie Gerard

Truly,

Amber

Perfection

A day in the life of Amber:

Oct. 26, Tues 2010

The day ended with me, here at the keyboard, wondering what to blog for the first time.

I asked myself: What really moved me today? What part of my day was most inspiring? What won’t I forget about today? Will people read it? I just decided to relax and write what came to mind first, so here it is.

One thing that I will not forget about today:

Just as I thought the sunset wouldn’t be making an appearance tonight, the tornado like weather disappeared and there was an incredible yellow glow that drenched the sky. It took my breath away.

Another thing that took my breath away, literally, was when my six year old son came home with a bad report from his teacher today. His two older sisters giggled as he got a ‘talking to’, because after all, he is the ‘Angel’ of the family, the ‘Baby’, Mommy’s Boy so they say.

Clearly my two daughters were both shocked and equally impressed that their baby brother could muster up some raucous for the teacher today, making them look ‘normal’. It made me mad he would misbehave in class, but made me laugh too that the girls got such a kick out of it. Depending on which perspective I saw it from, the girls thought this was comical, that Baby Boy got into trouble at school. From my perspective, it was infuriating. How could he go to school and not listen to the teacher?

I wonder what his perspective was?

If I had to guess, I’d say he thought like this: ‘Aww ma, I listen and learn every other day and get good grades, gimme a break’. But kids all too often wait for our cue to see how they should think and feel. So his reaction to my angry face and disappointed tone today was surely one that drove him to wish he was perfect.

It’s quite impossible and unfair for me to expect perfection out of him or anyone else for that matter.

So the most I can do is make a punishment fit for the crime and hope he learns a lesson. Tonight, it’s early to bed for him and no staying up a little past our bedtime to watch football games for a while.

We are all imperfect, growing and changing. There is never a day that we will be expected to get it all right. Our imperfections and weaknesses help us to feel humble and to ask for help. Our expectations to be perfect or expect perfection out of others haunts us and hurts us. We should celebrate our mistakes since we can always learn from them. He tried something today and he learned it wasn’t okay. I learned something  too. Make the punishment fit the crime, and it’s not the end of the world, Justice was served case closed.

 Amber