Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mistakes Make You The Expert

Mistakes and fumbles along the roads of life teach us who were are and help us learn what we need to become.

This blog post says it all...

I am not perfect and I am certain that I am better today because I screwed up yesterday.

I admit it, I love to tell others how to fix things...but that's because I have messed up so much in the past now I feel I am a wealth of knowledge on how NOT to!

I found the title of this blog post intriguing 'Martinis, Mistakes and The Experts' (I knew I could totally relate...)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2LFCz8/livethecharmedlife.com/2010/08/100-ways-to-uncomplicate-your-life/comment-page-1

Happy Mistake Making!
Truly,
Amber

Monday, June 27, 2011

Take My Advice

How many times have you been in a particular situation and asked a friend for some advice?

How often have you actually taken the advice?

Why is it that we could be brave enough to ask for help, but when given a wise word, promptly ignore it and do what we want anyways?

Turn the table and now your friend comes to you for guidance...

It seems so simple to assess their problem and advise them what to do.

Of course I realize that when we aren't emotionally involved it's easy for us to dissect the problem and figure out the next step. We don't have to worry about the consequences or the hard work involved.


Though I think it is also quite easy for us because we can see the situation from the outside of the persons life; making our choice based upon just the issue at hand not the rest of the puzzle.

With that being said, notice how we cannot do that for ourselves?

When our own emotions are involved they say it's too close to home for us to look at things objectively.

I have many friends and not all of them ask for my opinions and/or advice. The ones who do grow at great rates! Those who don't I imagine it's because I do not beat around the bush and I refuse to sugarcoat.

I look at it this way, if I tell my friends what they want to hear I am doing them a disservice.


A friend should not shelter you, they should be curt, frank and on occasion, painfully honest with you because that is what you really need to hear and it's what's best for you.

If you have friends who tell you what you want to hear than:

A) You are robbing yourself of great change and rewards and...

B) Your friend is not as good a friend as they could be


In high school I remember listening for hours to friends with problems. At their request I would really, truly, pay attention to what they were saying. I would understand what was bothering them, I would ask a few questions about how they felt about the situation they were facing and where they wanted to be...then I'd offer them my personal opinion...

How discouraged I would be to see them stay on the path that they were struggling with...even though I gave them the keys to get out of it.

I kept thinking, 'If they trust me enough to ask for my advice, than wouldn't they follow it?'

We do the same thing to ourselves sometimes, we ignore the signs that guide us and tell us what to do next. We deny that changes need to be made.

And Lord help us when somebody says something we don't want to hear. We retreat and/or rebel.

If you are at that type of place with a friend, and you don't particularly like their advice, next time that you are in a pickle and have to make a decision which seems difficult, ask yourself what advice you'd give your them.


Don't sugar coat it and don't be afraid to offend or insult. Sometimes we need it straight because we aren't seeing things clearly.


And the next time your pal tells you something you don't particularly want to hear, don't get angry and pull away...they are only trying to help you...

Just relax and take your own advice.


 Truly,
Amber



'When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones telling you they still love you and care.'- Randy Pausch

'Get a feedback loop and listen to it... When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.'- Randy Pausch

Friday, June 24, 2011

Engagement Photos Gone Wrong

It's Fun Friday, and as much as I hate making fun of people, because it's rude, it is a form of bullying and it is just downright wrong...I do get a kick out of the natural funnies in life that people offer me.

I was Stumbling, like I often do, and I found this in the family stumbles.

A site of Engagement Photos gone BAD.

Not crude or lude and not too bad...well, at least not too many of them...

I decided to share them with you for two reasons:

1) So that you will get a little chuckle today (because I did)
2) So you will learn what not to do (or let a photographer do) during a photography session

By the way, it is ironic that I came upon this site...

I am counting down the days of my own engagement and I have twice in the past two years had my photo taken with my fiancee and I wonder whether or not they look bad...lol...and whether I should show them in an announcement...or save them for my grandkids...

You tell me...

AFTER you check these out:
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2fU7hF/www.guidespot.com/guides/engagement_photo_funny_wedding

Truly,
Amber


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

LIfe is Short...Speak Up

A lot of people think I am outspoken, weird and maybe a bit goofy.

I just think that they are curious why I feel so free to be the way that I am.

I will tell you why; Life is too short to be someone or something else.

Ever since high school I remember having a mantra: Life is too short to be miserable...

And so occasionally I would make decisions that some might not have understood or agreed with...and I may have even come across brash and cold....but do you know what?

I do not regret a thing :)

Over the years I have lived for me and my family....not for anyone else...

Here is a  list of things you should say before you die and I believe that if you do even half, it will change your life forever and leave you feeling a lot freer than you do today....
 
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1BjvkD/www.lyved.com/body_soul/50-things-to-say-before-you-die

Truly,
Amber

Monday, June 20, 2011

One Size Does Not Fit All


One size does not fit all when it comes to motivation. 

I like to think that I motivate people, but who knows, maybe I don't.
For example, maybe it takes spending time around the elderly that lead some people to maximize their time on earth.

Others might be frozen in fear by it and maybe even depressed.

Maybe visiting countries which are less fortunate than us can cause someone  to want to help, but might drive others to be fearful for themselves and inspire greed.

I read a book last year called The Last Lecture’.  

It motivated me. 

It did not push me to become someone I’m not and it did not inspire me to run a marathon either….but it did change the way that I think.

I was inspired to be appreciative for the dreams that I have achieved, be happy for the time I do have and for the blessings that are bestowed upon me…

Rather than

Be disappointed by what I do not have, did not get and have not accomplished.

Randy Pausch’s book moved me; his wife Jai moved me. 

The story made me think the opposite of the way I used to think. 

Instead of dwelling daily on the things I’d not done and how long it took me to do the things that I had, I began to feel blessed for the things I’d accomplished and I started to realize how much time I still  have left…and not to waste a minute of it.
 
It afforded me patience to be myself now, enjoy the positive memories of the past and look forward to the future….no matter how slow it developed in my own eyes.

Here is another story that changed my thinking:

Erin Crossin Grenon’s Road to Recovery Blog
Erin motivates me, her husband Dustyn moves me. Their story makes me realize how careful we must be with our lives, our words, our motives. And how strong we must be during tragedies and how we should always be grateful for the air we breathe and the people who love us. 

The undenying strength and unconditional love that Erin’s husband and family have for her; the ability to see past today…which isn’t lovely, to a future that will someday, hopefully, be close to normal.

Here are two other links that I like to read:
I just love this post from  May 26th on Better Life Coaching:
http://betterlifecoaching.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/dont-press-the-snooze-button/

Rowdy Kittens:
Reminds me how beautiful life is when I move out the stuff in my life. It makes me appreciate lthe things that really matter like nature and people... and that learning to live with less is practical and peaceful.

Visit these blogs, not just because I told you to, but because reading stories are the best way to gain another perspective.

We all need it sometimes to change our thinking and light a fire underneath us to change.
Truly,
Amber

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Not Necessary, But Worth the $$

Stuff cannot make us happy. But there are little creature comforts in life which can help.

I don’t like to spend extra money on things that don’t seem practical or logical. I think I was brought up that way. My parents were not millionaires and they taught me to be wise careful with my money. 

Being a single mother for several years taught me a few things about spending and conserving as well.

But with that being said, I still find there are things which are definitely worth the money and should be purchased if the desire is there. 

They are:

Ice cream

Fresh flowers

Take-out Pizza

My favorite lotion

Scented Candles (My favorites, and when I buy them, the only ones I buy are Partylite)

A new CD (Mine usually comes in the form of a Christmas CD/once a year at Christmas)

This list of items might seem very random to you, and granted not one of them is a necessity.
But, that's what makes them so special.  Each one has a little convenience or comfort rating in my life and I have realized over time that I don’t want to give any of them up, if I can help it.

No one knows better than me that there have been multiple times in my life when there's absolutely no room in the budget for extras, but if I can manage one thing off this list every so often, than it’s a treat, and makes me smile.

What are some of the little things you refuse give up? 

Is it a dish in your kitchen that’s always full of your favorite candy? 
Is it a special coffee you look forward to every morning? 
Is it a membership to somewhere, that you refuse to give up? 
Is it your weekly news paper or monthly magazine subscription?


What gives you joy, but is not a necessity, that you would not part with because, if anything, it just makes your day?

Life is too short, we must enjoy it.
Truly,
Amber

Monday, June 13, 2011

How Far Would You Go?

Photo from VisualPhotos.com
I was waiting with my children the other day for an elevator.

I had already pressed the button on the wall to call an elevator to the lobby level.

Loaded down with bags of things, we had been standing there for a few moments waiting for the elevator to come.

As the farthest door away from us opened, I noticed not one, but two employees of the building rush from around the corner and steal into it before us. (They saw us but tried looking at the ground instead.)

We were lucky to get to the door before it had closed and the guys entering it never even bothered to hold the door, never mind wait their turn to get in. (How silly would that have been?)

How inconsiderate I thought.   

But now-a-days it’s not so uncommon to be treated like this-it sometimes seems as if no one has any manners any more.

Today, I was in a similar situation and as I was just beginning to enter the building this time, and even farther away from the elevators than before, a woman who was in the elevator already saw me as she was pressing the inside button for her floor.

She was on the phone and I did not have hope of getting in that elevator. I just figured I’d put my things down and grab the next one.

Not only did  the woman look towards me, but she threw up her leg and stuffed her foot in the door to stop the it from closing. (Nice shoes and all she just stuck them in the door!) 

Then, even though she was on her cell-phone she paused to ask me which floor I needed once I got on.

At the end she told me to have a good day.

I told her how much I appreciated her efforts to save the elevator for me and that she really went out of her way, when others who should, do not.

She just smiled, laughed and said, 'I know exactly what you mean'. (Maybe she'd been in that situation before and knew what it felt like.)

When it comes time to do something nice for someone, (in our house we call it Random Acts of Kindness) how far will you  go?

Truly,
Amber
 


Friday, June 10, 2011

Tech Troubles?


Just visit this well-known comic for a laugh...

Then unplug it...Just kidding. 

After you check out the comic chalk up your tech issues to the fact that I think your computer went home early...

It is Friday, after all.

Enjoy your weekend!

Truly,
Amber


Wednesday, June 8, 2011


A Memory of the Beautiful Atlantic Ocean from CT

'If you realized how powerful your thougts are, you would never think a negative thought.' 
- Peace Pilgrim

More on the Peace Pilgrim:
Truly,
Amber

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dream On...

Have you ever wondered what happened to the people you knew who had dreams?

Do you wonder whether or not your high school classmate ever purchased that piece of land in the country and started a farm on it? Do you secretly hope your old friend Patty opened up that consignment shop she always dreamt of?  Are you hopeful that your neighbor from ten years ago finished law school and has their own firm by now?

Or… 

Have you spoken to all of them since and you’re pretty sure they ditched their dreams a long time ago because Patty is now a stay-at-home mom and claims she is too busy to open a store… your old classmate works downtown 80+ hours a week, and your neighbor quit school because of a rough semester…?

These folks had dreams….

Did you? 

Well, I know I did.

For at least ten years I’ve been saying I will one day write a book. (From what I understand this is a common problem among many writers...’oh phfew, I feel so much better now'…NOT.)

I will someday write that book and I won’t write just one; I will write many books. 

I know this, because it’s my dream and I’m not about to abandon it. 

It might be taking me a while, but I am still holding on to it.

Our dreams I’ve realized-- only die when we let them.

It sounds terrible, but it’s true.

When we stop believing in our dreams … is when they will never happen.

I have, at times, doubted my dreams; telling myself that people really don’t want, or need, what I have to share…but that is not true.
If I think about positively: all I have been through, I have a lot to share with others and I have a way to help others.
 - I was married for ten years
 - Divorced for five
 - I am successfully parenting three amazing children of various ages who are excelling beyond my wildest dreams.

Additionally, I have majorly turned my life around from multiple mistakes due to a majorly dysfunctional adolescence.  

You may think the world doesn’t need your dream because you imagine your idea won't  make a difference.

But, think again…
 -Where would you be without your microwave?
 -How often do you use toothpaste?
 -How important is your phone?
 -Do you utilize air flight?

These are things…and I know that not all of us are into inventing things…

So, then, ask yourself these: 
-How many people has the Red Cross helped?
-What has the Peace Corp done for the world?
-How much of a difference has the United Way made?

Whether it’s a product or service…or even just a quote, which could better the lives of others…
Don’t you dare give up on your Dream.

The world needs you.

So if you are like me and have not yet fulfilled all of your dreams, don’t stress…timing is everything. 

Purpose, vision, and belief are everything else. 

Who knows, maybe time is on your side. 

You might just need the experiences of today to achieve your dreams tomorrow.


'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.' - Elenor Roosevelt

Truly,
Amber

Friday, June 3, 2011

A Relationship Funny

I am a woman, but I do not always agree with the stereotypical statements about women...
Although this cartoon is quite funny.

I will admit that I might have a tendency to be a little confusing from time to time...

But that has nothing to do with me being a woman ;)

Because men can be just as difficult to understand.

Happy Friday and Enjoy this Comic!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2bQkpB/themetapicture.com/media/pros-of-being-a-psych-major-540x615.jpg

Truly,
Amber


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Better Decision Making with Patience

At church this past Sunday, our pastor was talking about patience.

You and I both know that many of us do not have patience, and the companies that sell us products are in no hurry to talk us out of this.

We have phones with email. We instant message and we have call waiting (which must really irk the guy who’s waiting for someone on the other end to pick up).

It seems as though nothing, or no one, can wait these days.

Pastor said the same thing.

He used microwaves as an example and he referred to the ‘close-door-button’ in elevators.
The close-door-button thing got me. I had to think about that one. 

Why do we have a close-door-button on elevators?

Like Pastor pointed out, the door closes just seconds after we press the button for which floor we are choosing to go to. But many of us stand there with our fingers glued to that button, pushing it, like no tomorrow.

I don’t know why we do this and I have no idea why elevators have this button.

My hunch is this: elevator sales people kept telling their higher ups that if the engineering department were to design elevators with close-door-buttons as a feature, they would sell more, because they know we all hate to wait.

It makes me laugh, but this lack of patience thing is so true.

Take for instance decision making.

How many of us take our time making decisions? 
 
Generally when we are out purchasing a vehicle or TV, the salesman has a ‘today only’ special. Or when picking out toothpaste at the grocery store, someone is always behind us waiting to pick out theirs too...
in both instances we feel pressured to choose.

Most times it's possible we end up coming home with something that we didn’t quite want.

But, it's all about now

We have to do it now. Get it now. Buy it now and decide it now.

Why?

What will happen if we don’t?

What would happen if I decided to go home and ‘sleep on it’ (like our parents used to say)?

What would happen if I said no to that TV?  Would they stop making them?  Doubt it.

What if I didn't buy that shirt today? Would I miss the greatest deal of a lifetime? Probably not.

I’m beginning to learn that better choices (and thinking) come with time.

Ever hear the phrase ‘to make an educated decision’?

It takes facts and research to become educated; which essentially takes – you guessed it- time.

We just need to relax and realize that a decision that is not obviously life or death is not actually life or death.

And nothing is going to happen if that decision is not made right-this-instant.

Some of us, like myself, are eager to say yes to everything. (I just had this discussion with someone today.) We always feel that we have to do, and accept, everything someone offers us.

Well, we don’t.

And the world will not end if we wait and respond with, ‘let me sleep on it’, ‘let me give you my answer tomorrow’, ‘let me think about it’, or ‘when do you need to know by?’.

Life is what we make it and each day and decision should not be chosen hastily.

Use these tips:
When preparing to purchase something:
  • Write the item down in a notebook and don’t buy it. Come back to it in a month. If you still think you need it, buy it. But you will possibly forget about it by then.
When asked to do a favor for someone:
  • First take a breath, count to 5 and ask yourself this question: is this person a good friend, would they help me, will this interfere with my family/friends/work and the things that really matter in my life- i.e., do I have time for this? (Consider that maybe this favor could be performed at a different time so that you may still be of help.)
When making a life changing decision:
  • Discuss it with people you trust, people who have done what it is you are thinking about doing (or have experience with it).
And, as with any decision, being honest with yourself is key. 

Writing the pros and cons down on a sheet of paper will sometimes spell out the truth.

Spend no more than a few days to a week educating yourself on it and then take a break. 
Stop talking about it, put it away and live life as you were. (There is a potential to obsess about it and create a fictitious need for something-especially if you test drove it;)

So, take a break and then come back with a fresh perspective the one you had before you began daydreaming.

Once you try this, you might think it’s magical.

Okay, maybe it isn’t quite magical in the wizardly sense, but it is an amazing concept.

Try it and see.
 
Truly,
Amber