Y.I. I Think We Can We Learn From Tragedy

The News-Herald

When unimaginable events like this happen 

We have several options...

Hate, seek revenge, doubt, give up...

or

heal

unite

grieve

persevere

love better

become aware

analyze signs

improve

grow

pray

I know in my heart of hearts, doing the right thing will supersede the wrong.

We need to do it...

To somehow reach the type of peace 

this world needs.

I told my ten year old daughter today,

I can say these things now,

 because it was not my child who was wounded, 

murdered, or who pulled the trigger...

But, it is times like these that can teach us.

~

One of deceased children's parents made a statement which mentioned,

that although they are grieving, they hope their child's organs being donated, will help another.

There is still good in the world.

Have hope...

I do.

You must be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Did You Know (Dr. Seuss)?

Did you know Dr. Seuss' first book 'And to Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street'  was rejected?

Not once, not twice, but twenty-seven times?

Listen to this story on NPR.org

What if you really wanted something?

What if you were the only one who believed in your dream?

What if no one supported you?

Would you still push?

or

Would you give up?

What if  Dr. Seuss quit?

A whole bunch of kids might not have enjoyed reading...or wouldn't have even learned to read as soon as they did.

Including my own child.

When my ten year old was a little girl, she hated books. Her older sister was an avid reader at two years old, but at eighteen months old my second darling daughter wanted nothing to do with books.

I thought she'd never read...all she wanted to do was run around and scream.

The truth, she needed speech therapy and was more of a tactile and emotional child.

To sit still and listen to a story was nearly impossible, never mind learn to read it.

Finally, after years of continuing to try to read to her, introducing book after book, she finally began to read!

 Hop on Pop and The Foot Book were her first, and she remembers them fondly to this very day!

After conquering those two books, she was off  and running with more:

Dr. Seuss's ABC and Green Eggs and Ham were next!

Sadly, the famous author died ten years ago...ironically, just a few days after my daughter's birth.

You just never know what you could do for someone if you believe in yourself!

Even if it's seventy years later....and for someone you never meet.

Thank you, Dr. Seuss for your stick-to-itiveness!

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Don't Have Many Friends

I really have to say I don't think I have many friends.

Okay, maybe that came out wrong.

I have not had many 'good' friends.

Wait, that isn't quite what I mean either.

Let me try again:

Over the years, I've only had a few really close genuine friends.

Ah, that's better.

So, why do you suppose this is?

It might be because I'm a very busy mother. Many can relate to that...

It could be because I am not very friendly...ummmm, uh uh, that's surely not it.

Hey, I know! It might be because I'm a jerk! Nah, I've already said that I'm not a jerk...

So, if it's not any of those things...I have to wonder, it it's because 'I call it like I see it'.

Do you know how many people in the world would actually prefer you tell them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear? (I don't know the number either, but I'm betting it's a lot!)

I've never been a sugar coater. I like to ask thought provoking questions and give people my honest opinion (if they ask for it first, of course, otherwise that's just rude...).

Here's an example of the shoe being on the other foot: (Mine actually)

The other day, I called a couple of my friends for some advice. One of them was my father. (Yes, even after my turbulent angry teen years, I consider my dad my friend.)

I can tell my dad anything, and that man will, well...'tell me like he see's it'. (Gulp)

Never for a second does he entertain any idea that my brain comes up with, if... he sees a true problem with it.

I hat that about him....and love it at the same time.

After a good hour long chat on the phone, I hung up feeling deflated...but confident! You see, I had sensed I wanted to make a choice that may not be the 'best' one...and after telling him all of my ideas, and he telling me 'all of the truth behind my ideas', I realized it probably wasn't going to be the best plan after all.

He was right...of course. (I hate that too sometimes.)

After my husband and I discussed my chat with Dad, we agreed our gut had told us not to do in the first place anyhow, and though I sort of didn't want to listen to it....

I didn't want to, but I needed to.

Often, if we tell our friends the truth about something they are about to do, they can become defensive.
They can even come to the decision that they don't consider us a friend. It's not that we don't believe in them, love them or trust them. It's actually, just the opposite...we care for them more than they know and just don't want to see them fall.

If that causes me to have less friends, so be it. I'd rather be honest with them, than tell them a lie that they will be angry with me for later.

So it's back to the drawing board for me!

Thanks Dad! (And I mean that in the most sincere way.)

Laugh

He who laughs, lasts.
~ Mary P. Poole ~

Ten Interesting Facts About Laughing 

A Yellow Inspiration Blog Post From the Archives That Makes Me L.O.L. Every Time



 
 

Y.I. Wednesday: Bake Cookies Once a Week!!!

Y.I. bake cookies for my kids once a week when they get home from school... because I want them to have what I didn't. Because once a week I really want to be like June Cleaver. But, also, because once a week I want to break my own rules and give them an unhealthy snack and because they are my favorite cookies in the whole world, and I want to be a kid, at least once a week! :)

What do you do? 

Share your Y.I.

Who's Life is it Anyway?

Who's life are you living?

What were you put here on Earth for?

What dictates what you do and what you don't do?

I was having a conversation with my teenage daughter the other day about being open minded.
I said that it takes open-mindedness to really find out how you feel about things.

At the end of our conversation on views and opinions, she told me that I was an 'awesome person'.

To me that was the best compliment I could ever receive from one of my children. I asked her why she thought this.

Her reply:
'Because, you don't let anyone boss you around, you live your life the way you want to.'

My response was, 'I only have one life; why should I live it for somebody else?' (Of course I live very much of it for my children, but other than that, I live life for myself.)

That reply should not be taken as selfish, though maybe it is...I believe that this is my own life and I take time to understand who I am and be who I am, otherwise my life is not worth living.

'One cannot fully blossom as an individual if they are stuck in the confines of someone else's beliefs and ideals.'-Amber J Chapman

Be Yourself.

Truly,

Amber

The Story of the Blue Ribbon

Something I am quite passionate about is parenting and children’s rights. I have certain views on how children should be cared for and treated. Whether you are a parent or not, you can make a difference in a child’s life.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Please read about the Blue Ribbon Campaign. Visit the sites below and join in with me, while I support children everywhere, by raising awareness about child abuse and neglect. 

Not all abuse committed against children is physical, nor is it solely committed by a child's parents; so please educate yourself, and others, on the forms of child abuse and how it affects children.

The following was is from First5LA:

Starting in 1989, the Blue Ribbon Campaign, which serves as a physical reminder to end child abuse, began with one grandmother's personal commitment to end child abuse. By tying a blue ribbon to the antenna on her van, she "made people wonder." When members of her community asked about the significance of the ribbon, Bonnie Finney shared the tragic story of her grandson's death. Three-year-old Michael Wayne "Bubba" Dickenson was killed at the hands of his mother's violent boyfriend. Bonnie's loss inspired her crusade.
In her words, "We must protect our most precious gifts of all...our children. Please wear a blue ribbon...give one to your friends...tell them what it means...you may save a child's life!"

“The blue ribbon has become a national symbol for child abuse and a reminder of our need to protect our children. The Blue Ribbon Campaign happens each year in April, and the community is encouraged to wear a blue ribbon to symbolize a commitment to ending child abuse.”

Visit their site to learn more:

http://www.first5la.org/articles/national-child-abuse-prevention-month-history-of-the-blue-ribbon-campaign

Video-Concrete Angel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2lZsmrFT4g

Just a small bit ofstats and information:
http://www.medicinenet.com/child_abuse/page4.htm#18whatdoes

Thank you.

Truly,

Amber

DON'T FOLLOW ME...

DON’T FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, FACEBOOK OR MY BLOG.

I DON’T WANT YOU TO Follow me… instead, I’D LIKE YOU TO go with me. 

I’m a blogger on a mission to lighten people’s days.

I’m not selling anything except contemplation and smiles.

I’m not an expert on anything, just experienced in my own existence. 

Once single, once married, once divorced; three children, working hard and persevering.

Life does have its doozies, and I seem to end up with many of them, but somehow on most days I still end up happier than I was the day before, so I figure, why not share...

If you know someone who would benefit from reading my blogs, please share me!

I hope to reach as many people as I can so thank you in advance for sharing me and my goal.

Please forward my blog link to someone today!

And in case you haven’t had much time to spend on Yellow Inspiration, here’s a map of tools:

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If there is a tool(s) on this list that you have not yet utilized, please do so and let me know what you think.

                                             Thank you!

 Truly,

Amber

‘You can make your world so much larger simply by acknowledging everyone else’s.’

                                                                          – Jeanne Marie Laskas

                                                       Columnist

Mourning with Arizona – Part III

What’s the Solution?
This posting is in three parts and was originally written and posted on Family Matters with Amber-If you would like to read Parts 1/2 please go to:
www.FamilyMattersWithAmber.blogspot.com

Right about now, I think every American is asking that question.

Standing up for what you believe in, in this country, is supposed to be a right, and a freedom. So why does it always seem like we are paying for it?

Fact: there will always be someone who has an opinion that differs from our own.

Unfortunately some people take it to extremes. They deem you, and your life, not worthy, because your beliefs do not match theirs.

What’s wrong with this picture?  

Sadly, everything… So, what’s the plan?

I’m not sure that we can devise one without first understanding the problem.

Following the Arizona shootings, some have speculated the following reasons for this occurrence:

1.       It was a result of Gabrielle Giffords’ views and her support of health care laws…

Interesting, but probably not likely to be Jared’s only motive. Plus, other representatives have the same views as Gabby and they weren’t gunned down.

2.       It’s Sarah Palin’s fault because she used a scope-icon to identify certain people and parties, and that is where Jared first created this disgusting plan…

Though I agree that her poor choice of bad clip-art was indeed pretty distasteful and not well thought out, and by now probably regrets it, but, I’m also pretty sure she isn’t the only one to express her thoughts on Giffords, so I highly doubt that Palin was the reason Loughner went on his spree.

3.       It’s because of violent video games.

While I believe that condoning our children using games where the objective is to run around with weapons and go on killing sprees, (hence why I don’t allow my children to play them) ,I still think that there is more to it. I just cannot believe that kids say, ‘hey let’s try that for fun in real life’. They must be angry enough already to feel the desire to do something so heinous. If the video games are to blame, you may as well blame movies and their imagination because those things offer them plenty.

4.       Its Jared Loughner’s deranged mind…

Okay, fair judgment, considering only a very, mentally, unstable person would be able to carry out the terrifying act he did, but he had no previous record, and was not at all suspicious to a cop who stopped him the morning of the shootings. And apparently, he was okay before this. Per his old girlfriend, he was kind and sweet and non-abusive.

5.       It is a result of Jared Loughner exhausted and on drugs…

Could be, but sounds like his plan started way before his all-nighter did.

6.       It’s because Jared owned a gun.

A lot of people own guns. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Besides, not every gun owner goes out and murders people with theirs. So I don’t think it’s the gun. There are a lot of other weapons in the world…people don’t always use guns to kill others. (Should everyone have a gun? I don’t believe so, but with a clean record and some money, anyone can get one, and some don’t even need that.)

My personal belief is that this, and many other acts of violence involving guns, is not the guns themselves, and not always the issue surrounding the event, but the anger inside the person who did it and what started it.

I am not a doctor, I am not a psychologist, I am just a mother in America, trying to sort through the mess that I call home. I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and my thoughts on this might not be worth much, but I wonder, of these theories, how many considered the child within the murderer?

I think many who are speculating about the problem are missing the big picture.

Honestly, how many people have considered deep seeded unaddressed anger, lack of self-esteem, disappointment, stress, lack of self-control or lack of faith? Maybe even lack of love?

People hurt people because they are hurting…

If someone feels loved, can they truly feel hate?

I’ve noticed it doesn’t matter anymore what you do, there is always that risk that some angry person could harm you.

So many people want someone to blame…so many want somewhere to direct their pain…too many want others to hurt with them.

We are always going to have politics and differing opinions. There will always be jobs lost, divorces and things that don’t go our way. There will always be people in pain. But America has to stop killing each other over it.

It seems more and more common; committing Random Acts of Violence rather than Random Acts of Kindness.

It happens in homes among family members, it happens in parking lots, in shopping centers, office buildings and in traffic. (Remember in the early 90’s, all of the cases of road rage? People were pulling out guns on the highway and shooting each other for getting cut off in traffic.)

My speculation?

America is angry.

Just look at our schools. Bullying is becoming an epidemic. It’s going as far as causing murders and suicides amongst children. (Remember the mother/daughter bullying via face book, fellow student commits suicide?)

Events like this are happening inside of our schools, homes, shopping centers, office buildings, etc., and there is no law, improved screening process, metal detector or lock down drills that will prevent an unstable, hurting individual from pulling the trigger on his weapon of choice…

And, it is highly possible that the individuals committing these crimes don’t even understand where their pain begins; they just know that they want to hate others and they feel that ending someone else’s life, or paining someone else as much as they’ve been pained, will bring a complete end to their suffering.

It’s so disheartening when someone’s life is taken by a person who is in pain. Maybe they have been bullied or alienated.  Recent events like a job loss, divorce, demotion or passed over promotion has left them alone and hurt, so they seek revenge; randomly.

Now for the million dollar question…

How can we help?  

More guns or less?

More people carrying guns…or less?

More jails and security?

More anger, revenge and hatred? (We see that’s not working.)

Loughner was just 22 years old, so young. So immature and he chose to do something so senseless and hurtful. And there are children everywhere, younger than him doing this to their schoolmates…It needs to stop.

The one common thread amongst individuals committing crimes of this type? They became distant and were considered somewhat of a loner.

My Solution?

We have to work from the inside out…

We need to teach the world to hurt healthy so that we don’t harm others when we are in pain.

Like my mission in life…

We need to improve the emotional wellbeing of everyone around us so there is less pain and less people who feel alone. So that less and less of these things happen.

We must teach children from the time they are infants that it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to be sad, and teach them how to handle it.

Teach men it’s okay to cry.  Teach people to be kind, even when they don’t feel like it.

We must help children understand the importance of self-esteem and help them achieve it by building them up; holding their hand through tough times, showing them that we can help, and most importantly, that they’re not alone.

Love for others comes by feeling accepted and loved ourselves.

We need more love, compassion and acceptance; more understanding, patience and tolerance; stronger self identities and self-esteem.  All of this is learned by being nurtured and loved unconditionally as children and by being offered opportunities to accomplish things themselves.

We must do our best to help our children grow up loving themselves; and not the narcissistic way; by bullying others. But by being giving and compassionate. We must work on improving our children emotionally so that they can care for, and not hurt, others.

Luckily, there are many people who know that no matter what has happened to them, no amount of expressed, ill- directed anger, will replace the person, or thing, they once had.  Those are most likely the ones who deal with the pain, are secure in themselves, feel loved and have faith.

Those types of people understand that anger is a feeling. It’s a feeling that with proper understanding, support and time, will eventually pass, at the very least, will become bearable. They know that it’s normal and natural, and they really do believe, and are convinced, that hurting others or themselves is never going to make the pain go away. They need to be the ones to be the model; the ones who teach; the ones who reach out.

Christina Green’s parents are dealing with the pain and they are choosing not to use hatred to express how they hurt. They are giving; they donated their daughter’s organs to save a life. They are appreciative; they thanked everyone who supports them through this. They are hopeful and strong.

This is our future.

This is our children’s future.

 “You have affected the whole country,” Christina’s father said.

…She certainly has…Arizona was our wake up call.

So that Christina-Taylor Green’s passing is not in vain, I pray that this event gives us all a strong desire to work harder to change the direction of our youth and of the angry, by healing people from the inside out.

In the end, it’s a possibility that no one will ever really know why Jared Loughner pulled the trigger so many times that day…

… I think if we had that answer, we’d be that much closer to world peace.

Truly,

Amber

Children Have Their Own Opinions...and It Starts Young



Kids can reach their own opinions long before adults interject.

Tonight my son was watching a football game, which is common for him when the NFL is on T.V.

The Steelers/Ravens game was on.

As the camera panned the Pittsburgh stadium, my son paused for a moment, shook his head and said, ‘Look at them with their flags; waving them’.

I was in the hall walking by the living room. I saw the clip of video and knew what he was witnessing; it was a sea of proud Pittsburgh Steelers fans, waving their Terrible Towels.

I knew by his reference of ‘flags’ that he’d probably never noticed the towels before. I was confident that we’d never discussed them before so I was aware that this conversation was about to become an educational moment.

I strongly believe that it’s not a good idea to impose my ideas and opinions on my children until first they establish their own.

If they ask me my feelings or views later, I will tell them, but until then I make it a point to avoid sharing my own views before they reach their own.

So with no emotion and from another room, I made my reply a statement; strictly informational and unbiased.

I told him ‘the ‘flags’ were Terrible Towels and that Pittsburgh fans swing above their heads to cheer the Steelers’.

I was surprised, that even as the sweet, kind and gentle little boy he is, who uses good manners every day and never insults anyone, could display such a distaste for what he was seeing.

I never had to say a word about how I felt about the Terrible Towel. He had his own thoughts. He’d formed his own opinion, and it was quite similar to a true Browns fan.

He went as far as to make a silly laugh and give an eye roll. I didn’t teach him that, I swear!  

I simply educated him on the truth. He was the one who came to his own conclusion.

I might not have been the one who influenced him in his opinion of the Terrible Towel tradition,

but…......I am afraid I will need to have a talk with his older sisters. I have a feeling they may have had a hand in teaching him the eye roll….

Truly,

Amber

  

Be Yourself

I have a daughter in middle school. (I know. That statement says a lot...)

But, honestly, until now, she’s always been absolutely wonderful. She is a great listener, a terrific role model as an older sister to her two younger siblings, she helps with dinner, obeys house rules (mostly) and she has been content being at the top of her class. She was even excited that her teachers gave me stellar reports at parent teacher conferences and she glowed when her class voted her for student council.

I never pushed her to do any of this. I just taught her right from wrong, instilled good study habits, praised her for good behavior and kept the communication open.

Well… it seems she is up against some peer pressure now, and whether or not it is being purposely imposed on her, or she is afflicting it upon herself, there’s evidence of her feeling like she doesn’t fit in. And she’s getting a bit tired of being ‘good’. (It doesn’t help that kids ‘tell her she’s good’ if you know what I mean.)

Noticing a change in her behavior in the past two weeks and noticing that she was not being the daughter that I knew, I began getting a little more diligent with my follow up on her. I would stop in her room more often, make more conversation with her than usual and check her messages on her cell phone. I found that she was not being herself in her school life either and I think she sensed she was not doing the right thing. Because before I could even sit down to discuss these things with her, she came to me to say that she was not being herself lately, and that she didn’t feel right about it.  She was tearful and said that she was tired of being the good kid. Because, so it seemed, a few kids at school remarked on her behavior and her involvement in class.

I was disappointed about her recent change in attitude and habits, but was glad that she was willing to discuss it with me without waiting for me to come to her (which she inevitably figured I would).

To begin with, I decided to tell my daughter that she was a wonderful kid who really did make the right choices in life and whose teachers really appreciated her.

Then I told her that teachers grow up dreaming of inspiring kids and they work extremely hard all throughout the year to create curriculums that will motivate. But that they also struggle with many students who don’t behave or don’t take school seriously and that she is a gift to her teachers and that she has their respect, and that’s a wonderful thing.

I added; who cares what other kids think about you? If those kids want to skip out on their homework, and purposely get a bad grade, who are they hurting? And does that make them cool? No, it makes them uncool. They are purposely ruining their chances of having more in life, and so why would you want to join them?

I wanted to take this a few steps further, because I felt that it was important for her to understand this within herself. So, I asked her to make a list.

On one side of a sheet of paper I had her write things down about who/what she was about when she was being herself.  She wrote: kind, caring, hardworking, good student who participates in class, respectful, helpful, and a good role model for her sister and brother.

On the other side, I asked her to list the ‘other ways’ she was being lately.  She listed: rude, not listening, talking in class and more.

Next to each thing, I made her think about, and write down, how she felt when she was doing these things. Predictably, she had bad feelings written next to each bad behavior and good feelings next to each good behavior.

Lastly, I made her write at the top of each list, on a scale of one to ten,  (one being low, ten being high) what her self esteem was when she was not being herself and when she was being herself.

 After asking if there were negatives on the imaginary scale, she listed a -3 on the bad side of the paper and a 10+ on the good side. Wow! What a difference.

Together we talked about how it feels to act like someone other than ourselves and why we do not always follow our own voice. We also discussed that by acting badly, the one we end up hurting most is our self. (Ruining our self-esteem and messing up our goals and plans.)

Since kids always seem to think that they are the only ones dealing with tough issues, I tried to relate to my daughter by explaining that sometimes even adults tease or pressure one another. Most times this can be because they may be jealous, unhappy or don’t want to be alone in an act, so they want you to join them.  I told her that someone that picks on anyone else for being themselves, is a bully…and it wouldn’t matter if her hair were curly, blonde or she got bad grades, (which are all the opposite of her),  there would be some kid, somewhere, would find something wrong with her.

She looked somewhat surprised and disappointed.

Unfortunately, this is the way it is. There are people everywhere, at every age, who are not happy with themselves. And they just don’t know who they are, or who they want to be.  And while they are struggling to exist, i.e., ‘fit in’, they work on tearing others’ down because it makes them feel better.

For someone who is discontent with themselves, they aren’t able to behave in ways that build others up. They are unable to care and understand. They have trouble fighting fair (meaning they deny everything they do wrong and they make excuses.) When they behave this way they feel better, and you do not. They also think they look better, since inevitably they never notice they are wrong.

This, I’m afraid, is not helping to make the world a better place.

So, how do you become yourself, and be happy with yourself, at any age?

I have hundreds of things to suggest, but I will start with just a few:

1.       Listen to your gut. Your gut is your inner voice, the one who knows you best.

2.       Do your own thing, regardless of what ‘everyone else’ is doing.

3.       Don’t go along with it just because everyone else is; make sure that if you engage in activities and discussions, that they actually resonate, with who you are and what you stand for.

4.       If it doesn’t feel right stop

5.       If you don’t like it, don’t do it

6.       Write down what makes you feel good about yourself.

7.       Don’t avoid doing what you want or need to do because you are concerned how someone else will view you and what someone else will say.

8.       Ask yourself what you like and what you don’t.

9.       Don’t do things because people ‘want’ you too.

10.   Pick your own path

11.   DON’T do things just to fit in!!!!!!!

12.   MAKE A MISSION STATEMENT

13.   Have GOALS

Why are these things important?

This beginning list is important because we are sometimes so busy doing what we think we should be doing, and doing what other people would like us to do, that we never take time to find out what we would really like to do, or who we really are.

What does it mean to be yourself?  Well, to start, just listen to your heart.

Today, find one thing that you are doing that does not resonate with you and who you are.

Then stop doing it forever!!

Be Yourself and have a Wonderful Day! J

Love

Today, I blow dried a Kitty.

Not a real kitty, my son’s stuffed Kitty. But I blow dried it none the less.

While making dinner, my son was helping to set the table, and when he opened the drawer where we keep the place mats, he dropped his kitty into our real cat’s water bowl.

He froze, moaned and then looked at me. He seemed so desperate. He just had this stare as if to say, ‘HELP!’.

I scooted over to him, took Kitty and shook him off over the sink. Then I squeezed his paws into a clean dish towel.

To me, that was not enough for poor Kitty. He was hurt, he fell and he was all wet and dirty.

So Mommy said that Kitty needed some more help. We cradled Kitty in the dish towel and took him to the bathroom and laid him on the counter. As I proceeded to pull out the blow dryer from underneath the sink, my son’s eyes got really big and he said, ‘Oh no! What are you going to do?!’.

I shook my head and said, ‘Well…his paws are still pretty wet…we’re going to have to blow dry him’. I diligently rubbed and blew dry all four of Kitty’s paws. 

In five minutes, Kitty was dry. My son had giggled the whole time, I even laughed a little. I then handed Kitty over to him; they were off and running as if it had never happened.

It was both tragic but cute. Kitty is so important to my son. He takes Kitty everywhere;  to breakfast, to watch a movie and takes Kitty to his Dad’s. When you have an attachment like that to something, it’s scary and sad for a little kid to think of something bad happening to it, and worse, something bad happening to it and someone not understanding how much it means to you to make it all better and save it.

I wanted to make it somewhat of a big deal that Kitty fell in the water and needed blow drying, because I think it showed my son that I cared for Kitty just as much as he did. I wanted him to see that I understood.

As a parent, some things may not seem as trivial to us, as they are to our children. And they may happen at such inconvenient times. But we need to look at things through their eyes. If we consider it from their point of view we are better able to relate to them. In the end they feel validated; i.e., Loved.

Over the years, I have very carefully and patiently hand washed hazelnut coffee off of a non-machine-washable stuffed Lamby and sewn her smile back on twice. I have sewn and re-sewn and patched, Soft Blankie. I have, time and again, trimmed and tied into knots Blue and Yellow from fraying.

I have also, at eight months pregnant, gone to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to replace a two-day-old-goldfish for my three year old, just so in the morning, she would not cry.

The things we do for someone when we love them is just amazing, and it's not just parents who will go out of their way for a loved one.

When we really truly love someone, we will go to the ends of the earth to protect them from being hurt or to help them feel better. Equally, we will go to great lengths to prove we understand them and feel for them.

Having empathy and compassion is a major component in love.
It's also the motivating factor behind how far we will go to save our loved one from pain.

Understanding how someone feels, i.e., validating them, preserves their emotional well-being, which is essential to them feeling loved and have the ability to trust.

I understood how my son felt, and I was able to go the extra mile help him feel like I really loved him, and his Kitty. In the end he feels very special and trusts that I understand and love him, all because I blow dried his Kitty.

Now  if Kitty fell in the toilet, my son and I would have to have a talk….but he didn't, he just got a little wet.....thank goodness.



Kitty feels better now that he's dry....so does my son:)

Amber

Give Thanks, Part II

It’s my goal this week to write a blog a day about what I am thankful for. I have labeled each one in parts. I hope that you will join me every day in appreciating life’s many blessings.

Yesterday, I said I was grateful for the freedom to choose to have faith in God and the freedom to share it with family and friends.

Today is part II of Give Thanks, and I think you’ll like it ;)

Every person has that someone that has changed their lives. Someone that, without them, the world would make absolutely no sense what-so-ever. Someone who has changed their way of thinking, their point of views and their purpose.

I am blessed enough to have three of these.

They are my children.

Before them, it was all about me; my space, my clothes, my food, my time and my actions, which had no bearing on anyone but me.

There are certain things you learn  as a mother, sometimes sooner than if you are not a mom. Like new insights, a deeper empathy for others and a sense of priority and an overwhelming sense of selflessness (and yes, that is a word), some moms would call this guilt, ;) lol.

Besides my children, I would like to share some other things that I am grateful for (that I learned from my children) Some might seem random but I assure you, they are not.  And some might be so right on that you may sit in your chair and nod your head as you read.

Either way, join me in Giving Thanks to the three biggest blessings life could have handed me, as well as some of the lessons that came with… and that I could never do without…

1.       Fragile: Handle with Care

2.       Listen, and don’t speak

3.       Hug, A LOT!

4.       Say you’re sorry

5.       Laugh at your mistakes

6.       Be spontaneous

7.       Doing nothing can be a good thing

8.       It’s okay to dress down for Holiday Pictures (and they might even come out better because everyone is really comfy;)

9.       Always travel with: tissues, a sweater, a map, snacks and a book

10.   Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should

11.   Decorate for the Holidays, A LOT!

12.   No one will die if we don’t serve a vegetable with dinner

13.   Have Fun!

Here are thirteen lessons that I have learned from my children.  There’s more, believe me, but this is a great little list to share with you for today.

I give thanks that my life has been blessed with their gifts, their giggles and their teachings ;) I admire them. They are strong, bright and have happy, loving attitudes.

Life would never be the same without them. I would never be the same had they never come into my life.

Who in your life has made a significant impact on you and the way you live and think?

Whether they are still with you or not, give thanks that you have or had them at one time or another, and that they grace or graced your presence with their love and their lessons; they deserve a thank you.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go away...
Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts...
And we are never, ever the same..."
-- Unknown

2 of these pix were taken at Lake Metro Farm Parks on Tatum's Birthday this year, and the girls were photographed at a park in Willowick this summer.

Thank you, Taylor, Tatum & Justice, you are my sunshine. I never knew I could love another, like I love you.

And I never imagined that someone could change my life like you have.

Love,

Momma