Monday, February 28, 2011

I Love Donald




Okay, so maybe I don’t love another man besides my fiancée.
But I do admire three other men very much.
The first is Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory…I just love ahem…like him. He is so funny.
 The second (my other Honey as my REAL Honey calls him) is Peyton Hillis.
Who doesn’t like Peyton? And by the way, it has nothing to do with his looks or his arms; I just get a kick out of how Peyton jumps over people on the field! He’s got stamina and gutts!
The third man I admire is Donald Trump.
As soon as I say the word, ‘Trump’, I know that many people are probably cringing…
The man went bankrupt in …..several different years.
Has been divorced  …several different times.
And has terrible hair.
So, why would I like him?
How could I like him?
Because I can respect him. And I find him to be very inspiring.
As Donald realized, he could have it all, and then lose it all, but then get it all back again…
….Again and Again.
                     Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal.
                                        MIKE DITKA-Professional football coach

See Donald live
See Donald take risks
See Donald make mistakes
See Donald learn from his mistakes
See Donald get smart from his mistakes
See Donald learn lessons learned from his mistakes
See Donald teach others from lessons learned from his mistakesJ
I read my first Donald Trump book when I was 24. It blew me away. And, if you have ever picked up one of Donald’s books, you’d find that it is full of life education as well as business education.
Donald’s reality show, ‘The Apprentice’ was the first reality show I ever watched.
Like many, I don’t think Donald’s hair is the greatest, but I’ve always admired his choice to keep it the way it is. His hair is a part of him and I respect him for not changing it because others tell him he should.
I can also respect someone who can be honest with themselves when they screw up, then tell people about it; then persevere and succeed once again!
He’s got  @%#! .
A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday. -Jonathan Swift
Go Donald!......Peyton and Sheldon…
I love you too, Honey;)


Truly,
Amber

Friday, February 25, 2011

Time to Change the Screen Saver!

Happy End of February!
It's Fun Friday and we're edging  s l o w l y  out of winter.
Today is a great day to change your screen saver!!

This link offers amazing photography of oceans, insects, nature, etc.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1O0kpe/www.patrickzephyrphoto.com/

Just pick one of these you like, right click, save picture as: whatever title you want and go to your control panel and choose it for your desktop background or screensaver!

I enjoy capturing nature in sunsets.
Each season, each day, and every time, it will reveal different sets of colors and patterns.
Here are two of my favorites I'd like to share with you:) They are views from my balcony.
Just think, this time next month!!       WARM!       I hope....

Truly,
Amber

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Top 5 Types of Stores I Like to Shop In...



Okay…
So, I’m  thinking that I may have given shopping a bad rap.
I do complain about having to do it. And it is true I say that I dislike shopping in general, but it’s not that I don’t like shopping ever; it’s just certain types of shopping I don’t prefer.
I definitely like to spend my time doing other things, but there are times when I do like to go shopping. And when it comes to these places and products, I like shopping too much…so much, that I tend to stay away from these types of store so I don’t get myself into trouble.
Here are 5 instances where I enjoy being in a store to spend money: (I will list my 5 favorite types of stores to go shopping in, listing them backwards, with #1 last which is my favorite place to shop.)
Quick! See if you can guess what type of shopping I love most before you get to #1!
5. A card, craft, stationary, or paper store, i.e., Hallmark, Joann’s and/or Michaels. I have always loved crafts, using papers, scrapbooking, designing, and purchasing greeting cards etc.
4. An art store. I could spend hours appreciating every piece in the store. Often leaving empty handed. I never have the money for what I want there.
3. A home furnishings store (and if it has art, its double trouble). I love things for the home.
2. A flower store or nursery. Similar to the art store, many hours would be spent viewing, but this time I don’t ever leave empty handed.
And……………………………………………………………….……………………………………….......
..........................................................................................................................
My # 1 place to go shopping is hands down...


 A BOOK STORE.
I wish they were open 24/7 like Wal-Mart. I would not only be there at all times of the day and night, I would spend every last dime I have there… so it’s a good thing they are notJ.
There you have it! 5 kinds of stores I like shopping in…
So I guess I like shopping after all, only it’s certain kinds of shopping.
Shopping trips that have been retired :
·         Baby clothes and toys; (sssh, I live vicariously through my neighbor’s babies when birthdays and holidays come.)
·         Shoe and purse shopping; unless I can do it on the fly… I have categorized those with clothes shopping…blach.
 ‘The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.’ – Marcelene Cox
Truly,
Amber



Monday, February 21, 2011

How Do You Know If It's Right?




What woman does not want to plan a wedding?
Ummm,  well....Me, I think...
I should be really excited to pick out flowers, food, cake, and such, not to mention the dress! I mean, come on, what girl does not desire the dress! But I'm exhausted already! And I haven’t done much! LOL!
Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled to be getting married to the love of my life (gpf) and I am very happy that we will be making a commitment to each other in front of God, our family and our friends, but I’m just not so keen on the overwhelming amount of choices and their matching prices.
Guess I’m just not that fond of the whole process.
Many times since our very first discussions of marriage, I/we have thought, ‘Let’s go away and get married! Let’s just go to our pastor and do it with just us and the kids. Let’s not get married…’
But, somewhere in between, ‘he moved to Ohio, the kids singing wedding songs daily and many gpf’s’ later we decided to have a wedding. Small and sweet. Traditional but not, a weekend and not just a day; we are doing it. And there's lots of things that need to be done between now and then.
I thought about getting a wedding consultant. I talked to a few and for the money, it didn’t seem like a bad deal.
Though, I feel I have great taste, good planning skills and smarts, so why would I pay someone to do the very things that I know how to?
I had already known where we were getting married and many other details, so when the engagement became official, it made no sense to hire someone other than myself.
Since my beau is your traditional male, stating, ‘It’s all you Honey; It’s your day’; only picking out one thing; the only thing I don’t want in the wedding: a bride-dragging-her-groom-cake topper...(ha ha, very funny Ry), I'm on my own with this planning stuff.
It’s not the marriage, the weekend or even the money that really concerns me, as much as it is the amount of resources, number of choices and issues like the order of planning.
For instance, my mistake so far was trying to plan things before having the dress.
After I realized that there’s not much that can be done without it, I’ve finally gotten out there and looked at dresses. No problem right? I’m a female; this should be a piece of cake.
Well, a little history on me (there’s a reason I didn’t go for the dress first):
·         I hate clothes shopping.
·         I like to find what I want quickly; get in and out, so I can spend my time and money on  
other things.
·         If I am in a store for more than 20 minutes, trying on more than 4 items I’m ready to break out like a prison inmate. (I hate shopping for clothes with the passion; and my dear friends can attest to this.)
I decided to do this the easy way. I picked out a picture of a dress online and decided to get that one!
Yeah, No.
It doesn’t work that way; because, I couldn’t find it…and when I tried on something like it…blach…
So I decided to visit another little shop nearby my house, figuring a local shop would be better logistically for future fittings, etc.
Yeah… No, again.
They were so kind and helpful, but I still wasn't sure about the dress.
Wedding planning has not been a pretty sight to say the least. And this is only task #1…ha ha...
I’ve already had two photos of dresses I thought would be the ones, and saved them to my cell phone… I kept looking at them and thinking about them during the week, one of them even had a deposit on it. I kept wondering which one was the one. I hemmed and hawed. I asked for opinions. And still wasn't sure which one to choose.
Then, just to make things worse, I have added another dress to the collection this past weekend.
BUT!
Great News!
This IS the ONE!
‘How do I know it’s the one’, you say? ‘You’ve already chosen twice, silly girl!?’
Relax; I know it’s right. Because with the others I didn’t know if it was right.
As I keep saying about my future-husband, ‘When you know, you know’.
And like I refer to my ex-husband; If you have to ask yourself, ‘how do you know?’, than he’s not the one.
Whether it’s a husband, a dress, a car or a job; when you know without a doubt and never have to ask if it's right
You’ve got the one.
ü  Groom
ü  Dress

                Cake Topper....to be determined...
....'Butt'..I think I like this one much better;)

This one's for you, Honey.......I found one with a Pats Theme...





Truly,
Amber

Friday, February 18, 2011

Fun Friday: A tip from Iron Man

Iron Monger: You had a great idea, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way!
Iron Man: How'd you solve the icing problem?
Iron Monger: Icing problem?
[His suit begins to fail]
Iron Man: Might want to look into it.
[He raps his fist on Iron Monger's frozen helmet as his suit fails and plummets to the ground] "
                                                                                                  -Source Unknown Iron Man

 A reminder to find out what the real trouble is before we try fixing it.  

Truly,
Amber

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Knock Out Doubt!

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.


Truly,
Amber

'Are We There Yet!??'



I can hear the birds chirping!
We are finally witnessing sunsets (the whole neighborhood was Facebooking about it the other day!) and little by little some of the ice is melting….
On Sunday I wore a coral colored sweater to church and many of the choir members wore spring colors as well; greens, pinks and light blues!
We are all hopeful for spring!
I’ve been so eager to open my cars sunroof and feel the warm air and smell the spring breeze while driving down the highway…but sadly, if I did I would freeze; there is nothing to smell and even though we haven’t needed long johns under our clothes for the last few days, the air is far from being warm....
We are not there yet…It is still winter.
We just have to hold out for a little over a month and then we’re home free!
I think as much as I do love winter and snow, several weeks of dreariness in a row can wear on a person. The bitter cold and bone-chilling, icy days are no fun.
The dead of winter is much like being in a rut in life; too much of the same old, same old. It can feel awful day-after-day waking up to the same cloud hanging over our head.
Bleak forecasts give way to discouraging outlooks; so much that we can’t see the green grass beneath the snowy path never mind the silver lining within the clouds.
So, to break the winter doldrums in mid-February, many retailers will use brighter colors and bigger sales. Magazines will publish much more motivating and exciting content and new diets will be out momentarily. They know, this is the last stretch and we need a little something more to make it through.
Some of these things might work for well for some people, but I think when life’s ruts are big, we need something more; and not a ‘thing’ at all.
It can be more encouraging to not list material things at all, but write down things that many of us experience. Things that make our day bright, even if the sun is not shining and the ones that without, life  would feel unbearable.
Let us appreciate blessings like:
The sun
Clean running water
A roof over our heads
The gifts of sight, sound and touch
 Our loved ones
The freedom to worship
The opportunity to learn
…Just to name a few…
So even if the weatherman doesn’t predict tomorrow to be a sunny day…
Make it one yourself!
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.'– Anthony J. D’Angelo

Truly,
Amber

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Valentine’s Day is not just for lovers
History says Valentine’s Day is all about showing your loved one you care.
People who are dating exchange mushy cards, husbands take their wives out for dinner and guys buy their girls flowers and chocolates, etc., etc.
But what if you are not involved in an intimate relationship??
Then who do you share Valentine’s love with? Maybe your parents, your best friend or your children?
How about yourself?
It may sound weird. But I’m being serious.
It’s Valentine’s Day!  And who says we cannot share love with ourselves today!?
How many of us actually love ourselves? And how fair and kind are we to ourselves?
When we are nearly flawless in carry out something, we indisputably pat ourselves on the back. But think about how often we tend to put ourselves down when we don’t perform perfectly.

This morning I made banana bread. I’ve made this scratch recipe hundreds of times and never messed it up but today I allowed myself to get distracted and forgot to add not one ingredient, but two. Noticing AFTER each time I put the bread back into the pan and into the oven! Ugh.

We were soon headed to church and I had a limited amount of time to complete this correctly. I still needed to get into the shower and I knew the noses of my family had already smelled the wafting of bananas.

Everyone was waiting for this bread and I found that I was getting upset and disappointed with myself. I almost let it get to me.

I had to quickly get myself into check and remember, I am not perfect and no matter if the bread comes out bad or not, I did my best and it-is-what-it-is. My family will not hate me, they will not starve and I will not let my mistake to ruin my morning. 

I allowed myself patience, mercy and love and I felt so much better about things. In the end, the bread was amazing and we were at church on timeJ

Whether in a relationship this Valentine’s Day or not, remember 1 Corinthians 13:4, which says:
Love is patient and kind,
It is not jealous or envious,
Never boastful or proud.
Love is not ill mannered or selfish or easily angered.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs; it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Love never gives up. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes always perseveres, love never fails.

In romantic relationships, love is what sustains us during illnesses, job losses, and ill spoken words.

For the one who may be single, loving ourselves is what gives us faith, self-acceptance and inner strength to become a much stronger person.

 Happy Valentine’s Day!
                 Love yourself today!

Truly,
Amber

Friday, February 11, 2011

      
Happy Pre-Valentine’s Day!
             
     

Since it is Fun Friday again, it’s the perfect
day to give you some flowers!


At Flowers2Mail.com you can send anyone, anywhere, a bouquet of virtual flowers!
Choose the color and style of vase, flowers, leaves and fillers. Pick the card
and clip art for the occasion. Write your own message, input the receivers email and
the specific date you would like it sent, & you’re done! Sound like fun!?
Visit www.flowers2mail.com and give someone a bouquet, you might
just make their day!
Truly,
Amber

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Living a better life through better communication-Communication Part III


In part II we learned the importance of staying present in the conversation and how botched things can get if we do not. We also reminded ourselves that a big part of successful communication is beginning to understand the other person first, before pressing too hard to be understood.
In part I of our Communication post we answered questions about some trouble we might be having being heard or understood.

We listed who this tends to happen with, when it tends to happens and over what topic(s).
It’s very well possible that our answers included, ‘multiple topics and people; and at multiple times’, this is fine because can often the case.

One of the last questions answered was ‘what one thing did we wish the other person(s) would change to help the situation go smoother’; many of us probably had that answer pretty quickly because there is nothing more frustrating than when it seems someone is not ‘getting’ what we are saying, or worse, they just don’t seem to care.
But I wonder if we don’t realize that maybe it isn’t the other person. Could it very well be us?
If we evaluate the list of things we wish that they would change, we ‘d probably realize that we could both benefit from changing what we do in communication.
It sounds backwards and probably not what anyone was hoping to hear. Though, for others to make changes around us sometimes we must be the first one to change. And since we cannot control anyone else, why not start with ourselves! (It’s back t the old Serenity Prayer.)
Here are some key areas that we can help ourselves be heard and understood better:
·        Close your mouth and open your ears
·        Be in the now (stay present in the conversation)
·        Maintain eye contact
·        Think before you speak (count to 3 if you must)
·        Know who you are and what you want
Listen:
My son has been overly talkative at school lately and we are working with him to get him to practice listening. So, my fiancé reminds him that he needs to keep mouth closed and ears open. This is not being mean, though it may sound like it. It’s being honest, and I imagine that we have all heard that from our teachers and parents at least once in our lives. Not to mention, if you know what a happy, energetic six year old boy sounds like, especially when he is excited, than you would welcome this directness too! Phew.
At six years old, he is not the only one who needs practice listening. Many adults do too. (I am one of them.)
As much as I love to listen to people talk (and I really do!), I love hearing their stories and I love asking them about their experiences, etc., on occasion I can find myself getting carried away with my own words  and forget that it’s not my turn anymore.
I’ve learned that the more you take the less people listen anyway, and use fewer words to articulate; too many words can lead things off track and the original focus of the conversation is lost. People tune out. (Whether it is the fault of a short-attention-span-society or our desire to babble it does not matter; we still need to adjust to be more effective in communications.)
With such a self indulgent society and in such a fast paced, communication era, we are all about talking and telling.  It’s all well and good and I like it, but relationships don’t work with just ‘me’; they need a ‘we’. And if we are all on our soapboxes at the same time and don’t let anyone else have a turn, we don’t really get the privilege of knowing someone.
Relationships grow stronger when we truly listen to each other and learn about them.  So listen more than you talk.
Stay in the now:
It’s been said that the average attention span for an adult is about 15-20 minutes, and web surfers using a search engine have an attention span of about 8 seconds so, either way, there isn’t much of a window to get your point across so we need to learn to speak with intention.
That means that not only do we need to speak more precisely and in less time, but also have to listen more intently, knowing that our sands of time are running out and soon we will self-destruct into the classic distracted-listener.
Maintain eye contact:
(My 9 yr. old suggested this be listed as an important part of communication;)
Eye contact is genuine. It shows that your focus and attention is on the person in front of you. We must not text, look at our watch or get distracted by people passing by. There should be nothing more important than the human being, in the flesh who is standing in front of us, because they will care if we are not listening; the phone or watch, well they won’t know the difference and I promise that they will be there when your conversation is over.
Think before you speak:
This is as much for the listener as it is for the speaker. A ‘train of thought’ can take off to too many other places, leading us to forget what we were talking about and come to mention it, what they were talking about too.
We have to take a second to reply. We should be think about what we are going to say before we say it (and NOT while the other person is talking).  It’s  wise to take a breath or two while preparing to speak, or else everything in our busy brains will spill out all at once and completely cover what we really want to say.
If someone is not paying attention to you, stop talking. This one might be difficult:
But chances are they stopped listening a long time ago. I’m not sure about you, but I have an extremely difficult time carrying on conversations with people who aren’t listening. If they do not engage in the conversation, engage too much, or seem to be distracted and show no real interest; I stop talking. (Yes, I stop speaking completely and I walk away or discontinue the conversation on the phone. I figure why bother, they don’t care and they are certainly not listening. They are not going to understand anything, and I cannot get any of my questions answered. Those conversations are ugly.)
Know yourself as an individual:
You must know yourself to communicate effectively. Who you are comes out when you speak, and it affects how people receive you.
Conversation, no matter how minor and on the surface, is still a way we get to know each other.
If you aren’t sure who you are or where you stand, you could too often shift back and forth on your opinions in the conversation; confusing the heck out of those around you, not to mention yourself.
Don’t keep repeating their last word to seem involved in the discussion.
With such a self-catering society, in such a fast paced, communication era, we are all about ‘telling’.  That is all well and good, but relationships don’t work with just ‘me’; they need ‘we’.
But, the most common thread in our communication struggles is ourselves, so although we wish others would change; we are the only one that can.
Today pick one thing off of this list to work on so we can work on bettering our lives through more precise, clear and meaningful communication!
 Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.’ – Brian Tracy
 If only others will follow our lead, our relationships would really benefit! Now stop texting, finish reading and go listen to someone! ;)
P.S.  I wonder how many readers could actually read, stay focused and follow all three parts of this Communication post to the end.  Please share this post….’pass it on’…
Truly,
Amber


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Communication pt II

(If you are just joining this blog post for the first time, you might want to first read the Communication (part I) posting on Mon., Feb. 7th.)
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’ – George Bernard Shaw-(I know that we ended the last post with this quote from Mr. Shaw already, but it is so fitting, I feel it needs repeating.)
Communication; it’s linked to so much. Through it we express who we are, what we think and what we need. Communication is also how we accomplish things or help others do the same. It’s something we do every day all day long, and because we do, we falsely believe that we have mastered it.
Most times we’re wrong.
Remember the activity your teacher might have done with you in school? She would whisper something to the first student; they would whisper it to the second student and so on and so forth? Until at the very end, the message was completely misconstrued from its original form?
Communication breakdown can be caused by so many things…and can really be quite detrimental.
Take for example the most recent gap in communication that resulted in this close call.
ABC News recently reported that on January 17th an American Airlines jumbo jet, carrying 259 passengers, narrowly missed two C17 military cargo planes. The jumbo jet was landing and the military planes were on takeoff. The difference between them at one point was only 200 ft.   
The cause? 
Miscommunication… between the two air traffic control towers. Ouch? Almost…
Again, quality of communication equals quality of life… It’s scary how significant it can be.
Regarding the questions in covered in the last post: I wonder which one aspect on the list you answered to be the most important in successful communication? 
Which one did you choose to put at the top of your list?
Ø  Verbal
Ø  Listening
Ø  Body Language
Ø  Tone of voice/inflection

Verbal seems to be the most commonly chosen answer. And if you did pick verbal, what percentage of communication did you guess it would be? It’s been a long discussed fact verbal is top in communication when it is really only about 7 % of and non-verbal is 93%. So, the other three on this list make up the majority of communication. Verbal is just a small portion of it.
And when it comes to face to face communication this holds true. Since what a person does while they are talking with you will say a lot about how well they are actually listening. If they are texting (and I am guilty of it), talking on the phone, or anything else, they are probably not truly hearing you. And this affects how much they ‘get’ as well as how much you ‘give’.
As in the case of these two control tower personnel, I would have to speculate that they might have been distracted and most likely were not listening to each other. (Again, it’s just speculation, but it doesn’t take much to mix up communication on the verbal and the listening end.)
Regardless of the cause, communication is the key. And listening is really the word that ought to be at the top of the list.
So, how do we listen effectively?
Let’s  go with simplicity and a visual.
My son has been overly talkative at school lately and we are working with him to get him to practice listening. My fiancee tells him, we have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.  (I think that we’ve all heard that from our teachers or parents at least once in our lives.) My fiancee also reminds my son that he needs to keep his mouth closed and ears open. This is not being mean, although it may sound like it. It’s being honest. (If you know what a happy six year old boy sounds like, especially when he is excited, than you would be this direct with him too).
As we mature we are supposed to outgrow the ‘talk first, listen later’ routine, but many of us do not. With our busy lives and many distractions we could stand to take this elementary-advice once in a while.
Here are some more tips to help with listening :
1.       Get and STAY in the moment. Be in the ‘hear’ and now; don’t be thinking about dinner, getting gas or walking the dog when you get home
2.       Do not multitask; if you are ‘doing something’ while someone is talking than you are not actively listening
3.       Ask questions, then repeat back the answer to ensure you heard them and also understood them (it sounds strange, but it works)
4.       Maintain eye contact (and this one comes from my 9 year old)
5.       DON’T ASSUME. Do you assume what people are thinking and then talk accordingly? That’s a big no-no. (If I can’t read your mind, how can you possibly read mine?)
And one of the most important:
**‘Seek to understand before seeking to be understood.’ (Be still, be quiet and find out where they are coming from before speak.)
So, here is your challenge for the next 24 hours. Practice good communication by listening.
Every time you are in a communicative relationship with someone practice at least two of the tips we mentioned here.
Truly,
Amber


**This is a Proverb in the bible, and Stephen R. Covey’s Habit #5., in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
For more information visit these links: