Y.I. Wednesday: Y.I. Think Road Rage is Personal

Merging on or off of the highway can be a very good visual for how well some people work with others.

They don't.

How often have you attempted to get over a lane or two and found it nearly impossible to catch a break by the cars in that lane?

How often have you been driving along and out of nowhere comes a car who's responsibility it was to yield before merging, but instead just barreled into your lane?

I think this is a really good example of how some people just don't play well with others.

I've always wondered why that is...

Last week, I was traveling back from a meeting and witnessed some ridiculous road rage.

1. The blue car next to me was going along...
2. A red car put it's blinker on to get into the right lane...
3. Plenty of space, plenty of time for the blue car to allow the red car to slip into the lane without disruption....

What does the blue car do? 

Speed up once the red car has almost completed her lane change.


What does the red car do?

She slams her brakes on. (Kinda serves him right. Right?- That's what she thought.)

Why did he allow her the space, then decide he wasn't interested in being nice?

Why did either one of them decide to act this way?

I think they take the whole thing a little too personally.

Just like when someone cuts you off because you were in their blind spot and you get mad at them for 'cutting YOU off!'.

It's not about hurting you, slighting you or short changing you...

It's usually about them. We just make it about us.

Remember to yield before you merge, think before you get angry...and give grace and mercy to those who are human; just like us.

Patience, Gas and Grace

This past Friday afternoon,  during peak traffic time I was making several stops on what I consider an empty tank of gas. Let me rephrase that: On what my car considers 'fumes'.

I had to get to an appointment at a specific time and felt that I'd left myself plenty of room to do my errands, fuel up and be on my way without being late.

The first stop took twice as long as expected. The second stop took some extra time as well...and as I pulled into the first gas station I came to, cars were lined up all the way out into the road. (No, I do not believe this gas station was having a great sale or anything, -I WISH. I'm pretty sure most of these people just had the same idea as I did....'I'll fill up on payday'.)

I was the third car in a line of cars that were sitting in the road, and hadn't made it into the actual entrance yet, so I knew this hold-up was going to make me late for sure. I felt like I was verging on a toe tapping moment of aggravation. I quickly scanned the pumps. Each and every one had multiple cars pumping and waiting.  I kept hoping I'd find someone just leaving so I could zip in. As I got closer to the pump lines, and with traffic lining up behind me, some of the cars had my initial idea to zoom around the pumps looking for an open spot.

Something strange happened for me though...I let them all speed by me...

Then, I opted to pull up to the first pump I came to. And even though it had one of the biggest trucks at it, and was probably the person pumping the most gallons of gas- besides the giant brown R.V. to my left, I ecided to sit and wait for him to get done.

I'd learned from past moments of impatience, how it usually does me no good to rush around looking for a spot because in the end I'm usually left angry, out of luck and I end up waiting longer anyhow.

Having patience felt great! I relaxed in the car and was able to catch up on a blog I subscribe to where the topic was public speaking. As I read the post I thought, 'How perfect! This might be a while, and this blog is really great!

When I was done, I was late to my appointment, but I wasn't late and mad.

I haven't talked much about My One Word lately, but I still try daily to use it.

When I thought about my choice to use patience at the pumps, I knew immediately it meant that I was using My One Word.

I knew I didn't need to expend energy, and emotion, doing something counterproductive. Instead I could just sit still and relax. It felt good to be calm, and breathe.

I ended up having a great afternoon, thanks to My New Year's Resolution of using My One Word.

 

Truly,

Amber

FU on Grace

Today was not a very graceful day…maybe it has something to do with the chocolate….

Anyway, I swore, (and I’ve vowed to stop that) I yelled out loud in my car at another driver on the road and I pouted at the end of the day.

I’ve been struggling a little bit with My One Word…and that is why I’ve decided to do a little FU on Grace…

Follow up, that is.

I’m not perfect, heck, that’s why I’m using Grace  as My One Word this year; to help me practice being Graceful in all aspects of my life….

HA!!!!

If I had picked kindness, compassion, or charity, there’d be no problem…

Or, if I chose humbleness, strength, or maybe humor, I’d say again, NO problem,  ‘I got this’…. 

But, if I had, it’d be too easy.

So, I picked Grace

…Ugh…

I picked Grace because I felt that I needed reminding sometimes. I needed a cue to force me to display patience when I didn’t want to, and give forgiveness when I should but can’t. 

It sounded like a great idea!

I really don’t do long lists of New Year’s Resolutions anymore and I thought choosing a word to live by for 12 months would be fun!

Yeah, no, it’s hard.

I definitely don’t want to discourage anyone from doing it. I just advise you be prepared.

‘This ain’t no picnic Boo Boo.’

It’s biting your tongue, holding your breath, counting to ten, and sometimes just walking away.

It’s seeing someone for good, rather than bad. Viewing things from other people’s perspectives. It’s taking time to reel yourself in and think about what you do and why you do it.

The good thing about My One Word is I never feel discouraged so much that I want to quit it. Since this type of resolution is one that is just between me (well.. and now you..) and myself. I know that if I get it wrong today, I will learn something from it and then get back on track tomorrow with practicing Grace.

If you’d like to try doing what I am doing, visit this site, it is one of my favorites and it’s where I got this idea.

My One Word:

http://myoneword.org/choose/

On this site you can do an exercise or two. You can also read some inspirational stories and take a few minutes to gain insight into yourself, who you want to be and where you want to go. 

Or… you could just get frustrated trying to live by One Word …LIKE ME!!

If you visit the site or choose your own One Word, please come back and share with me what you thought and/or what One Word you chose.

Tomorrow is another day….

Hopefully it will be GRACEFUL.

 

Truly

Amber

GRACE

Here is something you might not know about me-I love Psychology Today magazine.

There are many magazines I enjoy; like Oprah, Architectural Digest, Cleveland Magazine and more, but Psychology Today is one I love.

I have been reading it for years. It is a thin magazine, but that’s because it seems the ads are kept to a minimum.

I am completely enthralled with every subject and topic that I literally sit down and read it cover to cover every time.

Since signed up with a Twitter account I’ve been so excited to keep up with my favorite magazine by following Psych Today’s Tweets!!

About a week ago, the magazine tweeted about choosing a one-word-theme for the year.  

It peaked my interest…

The tweet led to a great article where the author describes a type of New Year’s Resolution that her sister usually does which is choose one word to use as the theme for her entire year.

That sounded fun!

So, I have chosen my one-word for the year; and I’ve already been using it, though it can be hard!!

     My one-word-theme for 2011 is Grace.

No matter what I do, how I act, how I react, or what I try to accomplish, I will attempt to do it with GRACE.

I have been trying to clean up my ‘potty’ mouth. I have been trying to keep my positive thoughts at the forefront of my mind. I am trying to be graceful  in the way that I thinking

There are things we all need to work on every day and many of them are the hardest habits to break.

I am excited about using Grace. I think that a one word theme will be easier than trying to talk my self down from a yuck moment. I just say ‘Grace’ and that speaks volumes to me!

Grace is a gift from God and it’s a gift that may be passed from one to another.

Use my word if you like, or choose your own!

Check it out!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/201012/choose-one-word-set-the-tone-next-year

(The writer is the author Gretchen Rubin and while I am not following the Happiness Project, someone out there might like to learn more about it and possibly join in. So here is her link to the Happiness Project.)

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/the-year-of-happiness-challenge.html

And as always, I would love to hear your comments on this post. Please share what one-word-theme you chose J

Truly,

Amber