What Does It Mean to Reinvent Yourself

Many of the best of companies, car makers and entertainers have reinvented themselves.

Sometimes they are referred to as 'sell-outs', other times they're respected.

I consider them smart.

Bon Jovi was one who reinvented himselve. When he realized that the big hair bands of the 80's were not the way of the world anymore, he lopped off his locks, versed some new hits and is a success today because he evolved.

Everyone needs to renew themselves from time to time and since change is inevitable, the sooner we realize it, the smoother the transition will be.

Here are a list of people who've reinvented themselves successfully (sometimes more than once):

According to Don't Drink the Koolaid:
Michael Jackson reinvented himself 42 times
Apple – We at Bailey Gardiner are creative people. What would we do without our Macs? Apple started a revolution in the 70’s when it first launched its brand. Skip past a few years of failed reinvention attempts… fast forward through the launch of the iMac … which takes us to present day in which Apple has a unique reputation for creating shiny products with an aesthetically-pleasing design, like the iPhone, iPod and Macbook.  I like the shiny.
Gucci – Tom Ford joined Gucci in 1990 when the company was on the brink of liquidation. As the company’s creative director, Tom Ford transformed and saved the brand. He revived the double G logo and added gloss and glamour to change fashion history.

Check out these sites (life just might be trying to tell you you could use a change):

An Funny but Inspiring Look at Reinvention

5 Easy Steps to Reinventing Yourself

Reboot Yourself

'Pursuit of Happyness': Chris Gardner gives tips for success

Take My Advice

How many times have you been in a particular situation and asked a friend for some advice?

How often have you actually taken the advice?

Why is it that we could be brave enough to ask for help, but when given a wise word, promptly ignore it and do what we want anyways?

Turn the table and now your friend comes to you for guidance...

It seems so simple to assess their problem and advise them what to do.

Of course I realize that when we aren't emotionally involved it's easy for us to dissect the problem and figure out the next step. We don't have to worry about the consequences or the hard work involved.


Though I think it is also quite easy for us because we can see the situation from the outside of the persons life; making our choice based upon just the issue at hand not the rest of the puzzle.

With that being said, notice how we cannot do that for ourselves?

When our own emotions are involved they say it's too close to home for us to look at things objectively.

I have many friends and not all of them ask for my opinions and/or advice. The ones who do grow at great rates! Those who don't I imagine it's because I do not beat around the bush and I refuse to sugarcoat.

I look at it this way, if I tell my friends what they want to hear I am doing them a disservice.


A friend should not shelter you, they should be curt, frank and on occasion, painfully honest with you because that is what you really need to hear and it's what's best for you.

If you have friends who tell you what you want to hear than:

A) You are robbing yourself of great change and rewards and...

B) Your friend is not as good a friend as they could be


In high school I remember listening for hours to friends with problems. At their request I would really, truly, pay attention to what they were saying. I would understand what was bothering them, I would ask a few questions about how they felt about the situation they were facing and where they wanted to be...then I'd offer them my personal opinion...

How discouraged I would be to see them stay on the path that they were struggling with...even though I gave them the keys to get out of it.

I kept thinking, 'If they trust me enough to ask for my advice, than wouldn't they follow it?'

We do the same thing to ourselves sometimes, we ignore the signs that guide us and tell us what to do next. We deny that changes need to be made.

And Lord help us when somebody says something we don't want to hear. We retreat and/or rebel.

If you are at that type of place with a friend, and you don't particularly like their advice, next time that you are in a pickle and have to make a decision which seems difficult, ask yourself what advice you'd give your them.


Don't sugar coat it and don't be afraid to offend or insult. Sometimes we need it straight because we aren't seeing things clearly.


And the next time your pal tells you something you don't particularly want to hear, don't get angry and pull away...they are only trying to help you...

Just relax and take your own advice.

 Truly,

Amber

'When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are the ones telling you they still love you and care.'- Randy Pausch

'Get a feedback loop and listen to it... When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.'- Randy Pausch

One Size Does Not Fit All

One size does not fit all when it comes to motivation. 

I like to think that I motivate people, but who knows, maybe I don't.

For example, maybe it takes spending time around the elderly that lead some people to maximize their time on earth.

Others might be frozen in fear by it and maybe even depressed.

Maybe visiting countries which are less fortunate than us can cause someone  to want to help, but might drive others to be fearful for themselves and inspire greed.

I read a book last year called ‘The Last Lecture’.  

It motivated me. 

It did not push me to become someone I’m not and it did not inspire me to run a marathon either….but it did change the way that I think.

I was inspired to be appreciative for the dreams that I have achieved, be happy for the time I do have and for the blessings that are bestowed upon me…

Rather than…

Be disappointed by what I do not have, did not get and have not accomplished.

Randy Pausch’s book moved me; his wife Jai moved me. 

The story made me think the opposite of the way I used to think. 

Instead of dwelling daily on the things I’d not done and how long it took me to do the things that I had, I began to feel blessed for the things I’d accomplished and I started to realize how much time I still  have left…and not to waste a minute of it.

 

It afforded me patience to be myself now, enjoy the positive memories of the past and look forward to the future….no matter how slow it developed in my own eyes.

Here is another story that changed my thinking:

Erin Crossin Grenon’s Road to Recovery Blog

http://egrenon.blogspot.com/2011/06/tuesday-june-7th-update.html

Erin motivates me, her husband Dustyn moves me. Their story makes me realize how careful we must be with our lives, our words, our motives. And how strong we must be during tragedies and how we should always be grateful for the air we breathe and the people who love us. 

The undenying strength and unconditional love that Erin’s husband and family have for her; the ability to see past today…which isn’t lovely, to a future that will someday, hopefully, be close to normal.

Here are two other links that I like to read:

I just love this post from  May 26^th on Better Life Coaching:

http://betterlifecoaching.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/dont-press-the-snooze-button/

Rowdy Kittens:

http://rowdykittens.com/2011/06/kindness/ 

Reminds me how beautiful life is when I move out the stuff in my life. It makes me appreciate lthe things that really matter like nature and people... and that learning to live with less is practical and peaceful.

Visit these blogs, not just because I told you to, but because reading stories are the best way to gain another perspective.

We all need it sometimes to change our thinking and light a fire underneath us to change.

Truly,

Amber

FU on Grace

Today was not a very graceful day…maybe it has something to do with the chocolate….

Anyway, I swore, (and I’ve vowed to stop that) I yelled out loud in my car at another driver on the road and I pouted at the end of the day.

I’ve been struggling a little bit with My One Word…and that is why I’ve decided to do a little FU on Grace…

Follow up, that is.

I’m not perfect, heck, that’s why I’m using Grace  as My One Word this year; to help me practice being Graceful in all aspects of my life….

HA!!!!

If I had picked kindness, compassion, or charity, there’d be no problem…

Or, if I chose humbleness, strength, or maybe humor, I’d say again, NO problem,  ‘I got this’…. 

But, if I had, it’d be too easy.

So, I picked Grace

…Ugh…

I picked Grace because I felt that I needed reminding sometimes. I needed a cue to force me to display patience when I didn’t want to, and give forgiveness when I should but can’t. 

It sounded like a great idea!

I really don’t do long lists of New Year’s Resolutions anymore and I thought choosing a word to live by for 12 months would be fun!

Yeah, no, it’s hard.

I definitely don’t want to discourage anyone from doing it. I just advise you be prepared.

‘This ain’t no picnic Boo Boo.’

It’s biting your tongue, holding your breath, counting to ten, and sometimes just walking away.

It’s seeing someone for good, rather than bad. Viewing things from other people’s perspectives. It’s taking time to reel yourself in and think about what you do and why you do it.

The good thing about My One Word is I never feel discouraged so much that I want to quit it. Since this type of resolution is one that is just between me (well.. and now you..) and myself. I know that if I get it wrong today, I will learn something from it and then get back on track tomorrow with practicing Grace.

If you’d like to try doing what I am doing, visit this site, it is one of my favorites and it’s where I got this idea.

My One Word:

http://myoneword.org/choose/

On this site you can do an exercise or two. You can also read some inspirational stories and take a few minutes to gain insight into yourself, who you want to be and where you want to go. 

Or… you could just get frustrated trying to live by One Word …LIKE ME!!

If you visit the site or choose your own One Word, please come back and share with me what you thought and/or what One Word you chose.

Tomorrow is another day….

Hopefully it will be GRACEFUL.

 

Truly

Amber

Time to Change the Screen Saver!

Happy End of February!
It's Fun Friday and we're edging  s l o w l y  out of winter.
Today is a great day to change your screen saver!!

This link offers amazing photography of oceans, insects, nature, etc.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1O0kpe/www.patrickzephyrphoto.com/

Just pick one of these you like, right click, save picture as: whatever title you want and go to your control panel and choose it for your desktop background or screensaver!

I enjoy capturing nature in sunsets.
Each season, each day, and every time, it will reveal different sets of colors and patterns.
Here are two of my favorites I'd like to share with you:) They are views from my balcony.
Just think, this time next month!!       WARM!       I hope....

Truly,
Amber

When the Pain is Great Enough

I did a ton of traveling this week back and forth from Ohio to Tennessee.

It’s about a 10.5 hr drive one way, if you don’t stop but to pee a couple of times.

I did this trip twice during the week of Thanksgiving. And that’s a lot of time sharing the road with others.

I love to drive. I always have. I enjoy the scenery, the time in the car to think and I also like the challenge that driving can bring.

Driving can be a risky business. It requires mindfulness, not to mention the mindfulness of others. It’s definitely a ‘thinkers’ sport.

As I drove, I thought a lot about how the fastest travelers, and the majority of travelers, were not always the best at their sport.

It seemed as if they were robots, with their gas pedals flat to the floor. Many had no rules, no plan, and no sense of how to avoid an accident.

Personally, I like to leave a space of 1 to 2 cars in front of me, in case someone stops quickly, I will have the opportunity to apply the brakes without A)losing control of my vehicle, B) hitting someone in front of me, or C) giving my passengers, or myself, whiplash. I also happen to like the control and sense of security it allows me, because when I see things up ahead, I have the freedom of slowing down without slamming my brakes on and turning the car line behind me into a panicked frenzy of squealing tires, thus worrying about being rear ended and scaring the rest of the roadway and myself.

Here we were, a group of about 35 cars driving on the highway, all doing about 70mph (the speed limit is 70 in many parts of Tennessee) and people are cramming themselves so far up each other’s bumpers, that if just one guy in the group slammed his brakes on, they all had no place to go but into each other and the median.

Smooth and uneventful, thus far, I did not expect it to last. Traffic up ahead began to slow down and the line of cars behind us were obviously starting to get very impatient.  

I could see, that although the majority of these people saw traffic slowing, they were not easing off. And,  if they saw brake lights, just kept on with their pace. Shockingly, no matter how many times they slammed on the brakes to avoid an accident, they kept following the same path, using the same driving habits. They would tailgate someone who was tailgating someone, who was also tailgating yet another someone! At one point I witnessed the same car slam its brakes on, slide into the grass median to avoid rear ending someone, just to do it again in less than five minutes. Unbelievably it happened a third time.  There were plenty of other people joining in this.

I wondered if they were blind. Weren’t they awake when they were involved in near-pile up?  Why would they put themselves in a position to let that happen again? Why would they put themselves in danger, as well as everyone else around them!?

It didn’t make any sense to me.

So, as I witnessed this pattern in traffic, and saw people’s behavior, I thought about how they could travel like that. How could they not leave much room for err, and then make the same mistake over and over. Not only that, but they kept on making the same error, repeatedly, without learning their lesson.

It made me wonder why sometimes it takes us longer to learn, than others.

My friend used to always say, ‘when the pain is great enough, you’ll change’. And she said that about anyone who seemed reluctant to change, or who was too stubborn to admit that they even had a problem that might need fixing.

I assumed that maybe these folks have been traveling like that, on the road, and in life, the same way for years, without much repercussion and so they don’t see the need to change. Nothing’s broken, nothing to fix.

Until, of course, they end up in an ugly pile of metal in the middle of a median. Then I guess that will be their ‘aha moment’ (another term my friend used to use a lot).

I am no angel. I have gotten stopped for speeding multiple times in multiple cars since I started driving. I have made numerous ‘donations’ to the American Cancer Society and paid multiple fines to the courts. But, I have never once pled not-guilty. I was speeding, I knew it was wrong and I paid the price.

I have to say that I am very thankful that the price was never so costly that I did not get a chance to wake up out of my stupor to realize that speeding wasn’t the best thing to do.

Finally one day…the pain was great enough for me to make a change. I was yet paying for another ticket I did not have money for, I was losing a half day of work to stand in line to see the judge-which I never had to do before, and had the embarrassment of getting my first speeding ticket with my children in the car (Shame, shame on me…The judge was not happy with me and I was definitely the topic of talk at the dinner table that night with my kids).

Now…. my lead-foot has retired and my right brain is working. My foot always knows the speed limit without even looking at the speedometer, and my mind checks on my foot, just in case ;)

Change is tough. Habits are hard to break. But there’s never a time that the warning signs are not there, to let us know that we are making a mistake.

I’ve had my warnings. For the past 21 years I have had warnings that I speed and that I should stop.

But, hand it to Ohio to break me of my habit. They do not fool around out here, they are much different than  Connecticut;) My first ticket in Ohio was at midnight, in October of 2007, on 271, with my truck packed with the very last items I was bringing from my move out of my house in Connecticut to my apartment here. No mercy. ‘Have a nice night and welcome to Ohio’. Oi.

I was a speeder from way back, I think Ohio did their job. Touché. And thank you, I'm glad the pain was great enough.

The point is, we all make errors. We sometimes do it and it’s an ‘oopsy’. Then we do it again and it’s not quite an oopsy. Eventually, we continue doing the wrong thing. And in life, like on the roads, we can tend to ignore the signs for a while before the pain is great enough and we finally decide to change.

Try to take a few moments to think about what might not be working for you. Are there any repeat occurrences in your life that keep needling at you? Something you keep doing which tends to bring those not-so-desirable results? Maybe someone’s trying to tell you something.

My recommendation: Don’t wait until the pain is great enough.

It’s much cheaper and a whole lot less painful when you have the freedom to choose to correct it now, instead of being forced to correct it later.

Ask me how I know ;)

"You have to stop to change direction." Eric Fromm

Amber

Give Thanks, Part II

It’s my goal this week to write a blog a day about what I am thankful for. I have labeled each one in parts. I hope that you will join me every day in appreciating life’s many blessings.

Yesterday, I said I was grateful for the freedom to choose to have faith in God and the freedom to share it with family and friends.

Today is part II of Give Thanks, and I think you’ll like it ;)

Every person has that someone that has changed their lives. Someone that, without them, the world would make absolutely no sense what-so-ever. Someone who has changed their way of thinking, their point of views and their purpose.

I am blessed enough to have three of these.

They are my children.

Before them, it was all about me; my space, my clothes, my food, my time and my actions, which had no bearing on anyone but me.

There are certain things you learn  as a mother, sometimes sooner than if you are not a mom. Like new insights, a deeper empathy for others and a sense of priority and an overwhelming sense of selflessness (and yes, that is a word), some moms would call this guilt, ;) lol.

Besides my children, I would like to share some other things that I am grateful for (that I learned from my children) Some might seem random but I assure you, they are not.  And some might be so right on that you may sit in your chair and nod your head as you read.

Either way, join me in Giving Thanks to the three biggest blessings life could have handed me, as well as some of the lessons that came with… and that I could never do without…

1.       Fragile: Handle with Care

2.       Listen, and don’t speak

3.       Hug, A LOT!

4.       Say you’re sorry

5.       Laugh at your mistakes

6.       Be spontaneous

7.       Doing nothing can be a good thing

8.       It’s okay to dress down for Holiday Pictures (and they might even come out better because everyone is really comfy;)

9.       Always travel with: tissues, a sweater, a map, snacks and a book

10.   Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should

11.   Decorate for the Holidays, A LOT!

12.   No one will die if we don’t serve a vegetable with dinner

13.   Have Fun!

Here are thirteen lessons that I have learned from my children.  There’s more, believe me, but this is a great little list to share with you for today.

I give thanks that my life has been blessed with their gifts, their giggles and their teachings ;) I admire them. They are strong, bright and have happy, loving attitudes.

Life would never be the same without them. I would never be the same had they never come into my life.

Who in your life has made a significant impact on you and the way you live and think?

Whether they are still with you or not, give thanks that you have or had them at one time or another, and that they grace or graced your presence with their love and their lessons; they deserve a thank you.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go away...
Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts...
And we are never, ever the same..."
-- Unknown

2 of these pix were taken at Lake Metro Farm Parks on Tatum's Birthday this year, and the girls were photographed at a park in Willowick this summer.

Thank you, Taylor, Tatum & Justice, you are my sunshine. I never knew I could love another, like I love you.

And I never imagined that someone could change my life like you have.

Love,

Momma

Change

A friend once told me, that two things you can be sure of are death and taxes. Another is change.

Today, the weather is changing, again. The fall leaves are not yet completely off the trees and we have our first snow in Ohio.

It’s beautiful to me. I love it and I embrace the difference of the seasons (hence, why I made a geographical move laterally, relocating from Connecticut to Ohio three years ago, when I had an opportunity to move south).

Change is inevitable. I think most of the time, once comfortable, we’d prefer no change whatsoever. When something’s working, why change? Similarly, we wish that the good times would last, the warm weather would stay longer and relationships would freeze in the ideal romantic moments. But they can’t.

Take ourselves, for example. If things are comfortable, why seek anything else? Things are working out, so why change?

I love to persue self-understanding and personal growth. I believe that although we all have our own knowledge, perspective and outlooks we should be open-minded to different ones. We should be open to change.

If we are, we will actually see ourselves and our abilities grow to amazing capacitie. We will seek new heights and may surprise ourselves with what we can accomplish and who we can become.

I feel that on the other hand, being close-minded to change, can lead us to become stagnant. We can be so set in our ways and habits we will ultimately limit our abilities to succeed at greater levels and grow as a person.

Granted the top reasons for close-mindedness tend to be ignorance and fear; just not understanding or wanting to understand new ideas or concepts and the fear of the work that might be involved.

Acceptance of circumstances and settling for what the situation is, can also prevent change.  We just assume we can’t change, and that change would be too difficult to achieve; downright nearly impossible. So, it is what it is.

But, if we only take a look at things with new eyes, be curious and investigate new ideas, face the fear and come out of our comfort zone, we will expand our perspective and our potential!

I feel passionate about what people can do when they embrace change. Make a goal to try something new this week, take on a different perspective or ask a new question. Challenge yourself to think. You might find change isn’t such a bad thing;) and that it may just open some doors.

Don’t forget to set the clocks back tonight and look forward to change.

Do Good.

My Name is Earl, was a program I loved watching. I enjoyed seeing the way a guy could reform from being bad, to being good. It was a comedy show, but there was always a lesson at the end.

Tonight I decided to turn on late night TV to relax. To my surprise, my old friend Earl was on.  The show had just started and all through it I laughed as I always did.

At the end, when it was lesson-learning time, Alyssa Milano’s character turns to Earl with a really heartfelt and serious look and says, ‘Doing good feels good’. Earl replied, ‘Yes, yes it does’. Alyssa then said, ‘and doing bad feels bad’.  Again, Earl nodded and agreed with her, confirming her recent revelation.  Alyssa’s character seemed surprised at the ease and reward of ‘doing good’.

She closed the scene by saying, ‘If doing good feels so good, why don’t more people do it?’ Earl answered, ‘I don’t know.’

That’s a very good question, why don’t people do more good if it feels good?

I don’t know why ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) don’t do more good, but I know why I do.

I like being nice, it makes me feel better about myself. I like holding doors, offering assistance and making someone laugh or smile.  And if someone doesn’t do it for me, I still do it for the next person.

Why not smile and express a cheerful greeting when you meet someone passing on the walk or at the store? Why not smile at someone driving by you.  I do it all the time. The worst they will do is give you a very strange look. But usually, what I witness is, they smile back! Yes, they smile back. And you know, they will probably smile at someone else after that, and maybe someone else after that! Smiling is contagious and feels good when you’re doing it.

There are many reasons to smile at someone. And one reason is clear, it’s polite. Another is maybe  not so clear;  unbeknownst to you,  that person may have private struggles that are so difficult, that your smile is the only light that shined on them that day.

Call me crazy, call me grossly hopeful, but I believe strongly that if we put good back into the world we can make a positive ripple effect and it will keep going and going and going.  Like the stadium wave. It doesn’t stop until  we stop doing it.

In my home I have many motivational quotes and notes. One is a tall poster of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It is a quote surrounding SUCCESS. It basically says that Success is: leaving the world a better place whether it be by small efforts or large, and lists some of the ways. In another room I have a black and white print of a drop of water creating a ripple effect.

Try doing a few random acts of kindness this weekend and smile at as many people you can! It’s good for your health! It’s a proven fact that smiling is better for your health-check out this list of 12 Reasons to Smile bhttp://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."  -- Mahatma Gandhi