Why I Wednesday: Y.I. Think Goals Are Easier Said Than Done

Anything worth having is worth sacrificing for.

'Goal' 

is an easy word to say, 

but not always an easy one to use.

With 'Goal' as My One Word for 2012
I know that at some point I would realize that I'd have to say 'No' to certain things...

A new PTA meeting

Another Volunteer spot
My Favorite T.V. Show

Sleeping in...

So I could say yes to others:

Spending time with my family

Relaxing with a good book

Getting quality work done
Going on a Field Trip with My Child's Class

I'm happy to say, I never regret good decisions.

What do you give up so you can accomplish your goals?

What's most difficult about this for you?

Test Drive #3: The One!

After Test Drive # 1 and 2, I wasn't sure what to pick next for a word.

I have wanted to accomplish so many things and every day feel as if I am spinning my wheels.

Why?

I wasn't sure...

I took a few days to think about the next word... 

Then it came to me...

I needed Goals!

There it was! 

My One Word for 2012!

G O A L S !!!!

There was no doubt in my mind that this test drive was going to go very well.

With Goals 

I could accomplish more...

Act with purpose,

And measure results.

I'd always had dreams, but not many detailed plans to get there. With practicing One Word, I knew it could help me get all of my dreams in order and help break them down into specific plans.

So, would you like to know how it's been going since January 1st?

ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC!

I've always wanted to spend more time on my book, more time with my kids and get more done in my business and GOALS is helping me with that!

With GOALS as my word, I am always reminded of where I want to be and what I am trying to accomplish! I have dedicated certain days and times to completing my parenting book,
created work hours for my home business, have organized the finances, the family calendar, and blogging time into specific time slots and now I always know where I am and where I'm going and no longer waste time doing what isn't helping me reach my goals.

Using GOAL as My One Word for 2012

has made me stop and think a lot about the end result I want...

and encourages me to eliminate things off my schedule which aren't contributing to the things that are important to me...

I am also utilizing time better and seeing results!

If you are looking for more focus in your life, write down some things that are important to you, then only do things that resonate with those priorities.

Make some goals, 

pick one word 

and 

Go For It!

Test Drive #2: Choice

Will this one be for me?

In December I test drove 3 words before choosing My One Word for 2012....This is my second test drive.

~

I might be the type who, at times, can make a mountain out of a molehill; make a problem bigger (or more important) than it really has to be. Not because I want to, but because I tend to perceive something to matter when it really shouldn't.

In tough situations, we sometimes just have to make a choice to let things go, be happy or sad, irritated or not... and maybe just move on....

With that being said, I wanted to work on encouraging myself to see I had those OPTIONS, and could, if I wanted to, just 'Let it Go'.

That sounded good to me...

NO-

that sounded GREAT!!!

This would be a PERFECT Word for 2012!

CHOICE!
This would help me decipher the trivial from the not so trivial,
and move on to a happier more relaxed life.

Choice worked. 'Letting go' was a great thought!
And while it works, I found myself letting go too much!
At times, not worrying or making a stand for enough of the things which were important to me...

I soon realized that much like the Hummer pictured above...'Let it Go' (or Choice) was definitely not for me.

This is what I already knew:

• I have choices and several of them I've made are because of things that were important to me.

• I was already capable of letting things go because often I refrained from getting upset over insignificant things

• I make a habit of choosing my battles wisely and actually tend to be passive enough already

On to Test Drive #3...

Read last week's Faith Test Drive

~

New Year Resolution: Test-Drive #1

In December I wrote about 'test-driving' my New Year's Resolution.

Last year, I traded in my old, beat up resolutions for a new shiny One which I would own for twelve whole months.

Because it was such a big investment, (much like purchasing a vehicle) I thought it might be wise to 'test-drive' a few first.

#1:
 I picked several things I felt I needed/wanted to focus on.

#2:
 I paired up words which made me think of (or meant) those things.

#3:
 I tried each of them for out for a week before I landed on my overall approach for 2012.

It was actually kind of fun. 

Here is The First Test Drive:

"Faith"

I thought since I could sometimes be some-what doubtful about the positive outcome of things, maybe I could use a more positive attitude; Faith seemed like a good word...

Faith...Faith.....Faith...

Just saying the word Faith feels good...doesn't it?

Except....


That after I tried it for a while, I realized that I related it more to church, my religion, saying prayers and reading the bible. Since those things are already present in my life, Faith to me did not work in the way that I thought it would for motivational purposes.


So, I tossed it out. 

(Not my faith, just the word.)

Back to the dictionary!

Read next Monday about Resolution Test-Drive #2.

Y.I. Ditched My New Year's Resolution List

Because I always seemed to either forget about them or give up on them....I have left my long standing New Year's Resolutions at the door.

I mean, yes, I believe in change (oh, do I) but, I truly think it's too easy to get overwhelmed working on a whole bunch of things at once...

Hence Why I ditched my New Year's Resolution list last year and replaced it with One Word.

Recently, I posted a few things about this One Word approach and I hope you will check it out.

Easy, but not too easy. Simplified, but not simple...I find it to be just right.

During the year, I feel that I work on the things I need to work on, you know, make adjustments as I go.
So, when New Year's comes around I usually over-do-it by making a big long list of things and get overloaded. Then,  I'm discouraged after just a short time...like by February 1st (Ugh).

So, last year, I decided to just stick to one word all year long that helped me focus better on almost anything I was doing.

Read about 2011's word: Grace

This time I chose Goals for 2012!

Last Year I chose Grace.

Read how I did:

Bad with Grace

Good with Grace

The trick will be, keeping Grace in action, 

while incorporating Goals...

It's both exciting and scary!

Yikes! 

Sounds tricky...

But, I think I'm up for the challenge.

No pain, no gain, right?

Throughout 2012, I will post updates and follow up stories about how I'm doing with my Goals.
Come back next week to find out how I plan on using this word!


I have already begun  my Goal list for the year...
and that's just the beginning.

Have you ditched New Year's resolutions? Why?

Or...

Will you be trying One Word instead?

Think you might like to try 

My One Word? 

visit MyOneWord.com 

or 

Test a New Year's Resolution? click here to read more

How to Be Mindful in the New Year

Ah, a new year 

and a clean slate.

I think everyone looks forward to this time of year, when we all get an opportunity to wipe out the last twelve months and start fresh. On January 1st I almost feel as if someone has breathed new life into me. My lungs are open, my eyes are focused and my body is full of energy. 

What is it about the first day of the New Year that makes us feel this way?

Is it because we now have a new list of things we are hopeful for? Is it that we can associate the new year with a new date, and so now we're able to leave the past behind us? Is it because the New Year really does promise us something special?

It's interesting that we think tomorrow into a different day than it was today...make ourselves believe we will be different than we were yesterday, just because the date changed.

Our minds are very powerful things.

Our mind is strong enough to make us do what I just mentioned and just about anything else we think about. But yet our brains can also discourage us enough to actually procrastinate and fail.

Our brain can be our best friend or our worst enemy.

And oddly enough, we have control over which one it is.

Ever hear these quotes: 

"Don't believe everything you think" or "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right"?

A profound book that goes into more detail on this subject is, 'Think & Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill. 

It may sound as if the title suggests the only reason you ought to read it is because you want money. 

Well not entirely, because quoting from his first chapter:

Thoughts are Things:"The object of this book is to help all who seek it to learn the art of changing their minds from failure consciousness to success consciousness."

In the book, he describes how powerful the mind is and if we harness that knowledge, and power, we can succeed at anything. 

Or fail at anything. 

Towards the end of that chapter Hill makes this statement,  'we are the masters of our fate..." and that our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts which we hold in our minds...."

In his book, he describes things like:

•  Auto-suggestion and it's power over your success
•  The 31 major causes of failure
•  How decision plays a large part in your wealth

So, if you are looking at your New Year in a positive light, and are only expecting good things, you most presumably will have them. But, if you cannot envision happiness and success, determine whether or not your mind is on your side.

If it's not, tell your brain to get on board and check these out!

Amazon Books: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

LA Times: Does Your Brain Have A Mind of It's Own?

What Difference Does the Mind Make?

Good luck with your New Year's Goals and Resolutions-

 You can do anything you put your mind to!

Visit Y. I. on Wednesday to see which One Word I chose for 2012! 

How To Test Drive Your New Year's Resolution

There are many of us who would be more than happy to skip New Year's Resolutions and who would prefer to simply countdown to the ball dropping and enter 2012 accepting things the way they were the year before.

Then there's others who look forward to a new challenge, or a renewed sense of accomplishment, so they set their sites on an item, or weakness, which they plan on tackling in the New Year.

Choosing a New Year's Resolution isn't easy. No one is perfect, and so at any given time we could likely find a dozen things which could use a bit of tweaking.

So, how do you know which one do you choose? 
And...
Which one is more important than the others?
And...
How can you guarantee success with the one you pick?

Well, the first two questions are very personal, and the one making the resolution would be the only person able to answer them.

But the third one depends on the why and if you've tested it or not.

How do you test your chosen New Year's Resolution?

Give it a trial run today!

If your resolution might be to follow a better fitness regimen, add it 'mini-size' to your day for a couple of days.

If you are completely disinterested and unmotivated trying to follow it, than you might want to choose something else. (It's possible that you aren't ready or your 'why', right now, is not great enough.)

We all want to succeed. 


'Try, try again,' is the often muttered motto when we fail, and it can leave us completely discouraged.

I believe that to feel motivated to accomplish something, and be excited to move on to another challenge, it is imperative that we are successful, even if it's only in the littlest increments.

That is a reason to test-drive a resolution. 


If you are not ready, it will be nearly impossible to stick with it.
So, include it today in small doses....then tomorrow try it again....if it is going well and you are excited about it and it is benefiting you, than keep it as your New Years Resolution on January 1st!

If not... go back to the drawing board.

Another reason you should test-drive a resolution: 


To find out if the one you chose will make a large enough impact.

Suppose you make a goal to wake up a half hour earlier every day. The reason you want to do this is so that you get things done around the house... though when hear your alarm, you wake up, but spend the next hour lying there, or you find yourself surfing the net or updating your Facebook status with coffee in hand.  While I enjoy doing all of these things, if my goal is to get up to 'get things done' I have defeated the resolution of getting up earlier.

It may be, that this is not a strong enough resolution.

Last year, I chose to incorporate the One Word approach to my New Year's Resolutions.

This week, I picked a few words to try....

• Faith
• Let it Go (I know that's three but I like it and could could consider it- My One Phrase.)
• Goals

I will let you know how it goes...

What New Year's Resolutions will you choose to test-drive? 

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Chose GRACE for 2011

With the New Year approaching, it's time to start thinking about resolutions.

Since I decided to completely do away with the traditional form of resolution making last year and instead, 

adopted the  

One Word 

approach....

It's almost time for me to decide which word

I will be focusing on in the year 2012....

Read Y.I. chose Grace for 2011

See How I'm Doing:

March 2011

 October 2011

Let me know if you do New Year's Resolutions and what they are...

Maybe you'd like to pick One Word with me!

'Grace fills empty spaces, but it can only enter where there is a void to receive it, and it is grace itself which makes this void.'

~ Simone Weil

Patience, Gas and Grace

This past Friday afternoon,  during peak traffic time I was making several stops on what I consider an empty tank of gas. Let me rephrase that: On what my car considers 'fumes'.

I had to get to an appointment at a specific time and felt that I'd left myself plenty of room to do my errands, fuel up and be on my way without being late.

The first stop took twice as long as expected. The second stop took some extra time as well...and as I pulled into the first gas station I came to, cars were lined up all the way out into the road. (No, I do not believe this gas station was having a great sale or anything, -I WISH. I'm pretty sure most of these people just had the same idea as I did....'I'll fill up on payday'.)

I was the third car in a line of cars that were sitting in the road, and hadn't made it into the actual entrance yet, so I knew this hold-up was going to make me late for sure. I felt like I was verging on a toe tapping moment of aggravation. I quickly scanned the pumps. Each and every one had multiple cars pumping and waiting.  I kept hoping I'd find someone just leaving so I could zip in. As I got closer to the pump lines, and with traffic lining up behind me, some of the cars had my initial idea to zoom around the pumps looking for an open spot.

Something strange happened for me though...I let them all speed by me...

Then, I opted to pull up to the first pump I came to. And even though it had one of the biggest trucks at it, and was probably the person pumping the most gallons of gas- besides the giant brown R.V. to my left, I ecided to sit and wait for him to get done.

I'd learned from past moments of impatience, how it usually does me no good to rush around looking for a spot because in the end I'm usually left angry, out of luck and I end up waiting longer anyhow.

Having patience felt great! I relaxed in the car and was able to catch up on a blog I subscribe to where the topic was public speaking. As I read the post I thought, 'How perfect! This might be a while, and this blog is really great!

When I was done, I was late to my appointment, but I wasn't late and mad.

I haven't talked much about My One Word lately, but I still try daily to use it.

When I thought about my choice to use patience at the pumps, I knew immediately it meant that I was using My One Word.

I knew I didn't need to expend energy, and emotion, doing something counterproductive. Instead I could just sit still and relax. It felt good to be calm, and breathe.

I ended up having a great afternoon, thanks to My New Year's Resolution of using My One Word.

 

Truly,

Amber

FU on Grace

Today was not a very graceful day…maybe it has something to do with the chocolate….

Anyway, I swore, (and I’ve vowed to stop that) I yelled out loud in my car at another driver on the road and I pouted at the end of the day.

I’ve been struggling a little bit with My One Word…and that is why I’ve decided to do a little FU on Grace…

Follow up, that is.

I’m not perfect, heck, that’s why I’m using Grace  as My One Word this year; to help me practice being Graceful in all aspects of my life….

HA!!!!

If I had picked kindness, compassion, or charity, there’d be no problem…

Or, if I chose humbleness, strength, or maybe humor, I’d say again, NO problem,  ‘I got this’…. 

But, if I had, it’d be too easy.

So, I picked Grace

…Ugh…

I picked Grace because I felt that I needed reminding sometimes. I needed a cue to force me to display patience when I didn’t want to, and give forgiveness when I should but can’t. 

It sounded like a great idea!

I really don’t do long lists of New Year’s Resolutions anymore and I thought choosing a word to live by for 12 months would be fun!

Yeah, no, it’s hard.

I definitely don’t want to discourage anyone from doing it. I just advise you be prepared.

‘This ain’t no picnic Boo Boo.’

It’s biting your tongue, holding your breath, counting to ten, and sometimes just walking away.

It’s seeing someone for good, rather than bad. Viewing things from other people’s perspectives. It’s taking time to reel yourself in and think about what you do and why you do it.

The good thing about My One Word is I never feel discouraged so much that I want to quit it. Since this type of resolution is one that is just between me (well.. and now you..) and myself. I know that if I get it wrong today, I will learn something from it and then get back on track tomorrow with practicing Grace.

If you’d like to try doing what I am doing, visit this site, it is one of my favorites and it’s where I got this idea.

My One Word:

http://myoneword.org/choose/

On this site you can do an exercise or two. You can also read some inspirational stories and take a few minutes to gain insight into yourself, who you want to be and where you want to go. 

Or… you could just get frustrated trying to live by One Word …LIKE ME!!

If you visit the site or choose your own One Word, please come back and share with me what you thought and/or what One Word you chose.

Tomorrow is another day….

Hopefully it will be GRACEFUL.

 

Truly

Amber

GRACE

Here is something you might not know about me-I love Psychology Today magazine.

There are many magazines I enjoy; like Oprah, Architectural Digest, Cleveland Magazine and more, but Psychology Today is one I love.

I have been reading it for years. It is a thin magazine, but that’s because it seems the ads are kept to a minimum.

I am completely enthralled with every subject and topic that I literally sit down and read it cover to cover every time.

Since signed up with a Twitter account I’ve been so excited to keep up with my favorite magazine by following Psych Today’s Tweets!!

About a week ago, the magazine tweeted about choosing a one-word-theme for the year.  

It peaked my interest…

The tweet led to a great article where the author describes a type of New Year’s Resolution that her sister usually does which is choose one word to use as the theme for her entire year.

That sounded fun!

So, I have chosen my one-word for the year; and I’ve already been using it, though it can be hard!!

     My one-word-theme for 2011 is Grace.

No matter what I do, how I act, how I react, or what I try to accomplish, I will attempt to do it with GRACE.

I have been trying to clean up my ‘potty’ mouth. I have been trying to keep my positive thoughts at the forefront of my mind. I am trying to be graceful  in the way that I thinking

There are things we all need to work on every day and many of them are the hardest habits to break.

I am excited about using Grace. I think that a one word theme will be easier than trying to talk my self down from a yuck moment. I just say ‘Grace’ and that speaks volumes to me!

Grace is a gift from God and it’s a gift that may be passed from one to another.

Use my word if you like, or choose your own!

Check it out!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-happiness-project/201012/choose-one-word-set-the-tone-next-year

(The writer is the author Gretchen Rubin and while I am not following the Happiness Project, someone out there might like to learn more about it and possibly join in. So here is her link to the Happiness Project.)

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/the-year-of-happiness-challenge.html

And as always, I would love to hear your comments on this post. Please share what one-word-theme you chose J

Truly,

Amber

How to Stay Motivated (Part I)

365 days is a long time.

A life-time is even longer.

So how do we stay motivated?

Many of us understandably need a nudge to get started. Other’s need a push.

New Years gives many of us an obvious jumping off point and that’s great. So with several good intentions we are off and running! We know what to do and we are ready to do it!!

So why don’t we keep going?

Well, one reason could be we don’t enjoy what we are doing. Doing the stuff that’s good for us isn’t always fun. And likewise, if something doesn’t come naturally we feel like its drudgery. We just can’t bare another moment of it.

Another reason is, when it will inevitably take months of hard work before we start seeing results on something, it’s discouraging and can be a major challenge to stay positive and keep doing the work without the payoff.

We may start to think that the goal was a meaningless one. Or we might tell ourselves negative things like, ‘Ah, you’ll never make it. This is too hard.’ it’s a quick downward spiral from there and it’s quite hard to start the climb again when you’ve seen how far you’ve fallen.

We all know what happens next.

When we start sliding backwards….we eventually quit.

So, here are a few tips to help you start strong and hopefully stay motivated:

·         Know why you are making the goal (put up visuals to remind yourself of the big reward)

·         Reward yourself periodically

·         Don’t allow other people, or things, to distract you

·         Get a partner or support person to help you stay positive (doesn’t have to be your resolution buddy, but someone else who is supportive and knows your why)

·         Don’t make excuses why not to do the work (our minds are not on our goals side sometimes) Our mind can help or hinder us and you are in control of which it does

Have faith. The hard work will pay off!  Sticking with something is mostly a matter of habit. They say creating a new habit takes about 21 days. So keep on going!

Truly,

Amber

 

 

 

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.- Jim Rohn

Be Positive in 2011

Prior to the start of a new year, many of us feel the burden that comes with it… You know the one.

New Year’s resolutions.  

What should be a celebration, New Years tends to be another holiday with a price tag…one called guilt.

As the high of Thanksgiving and Christmas comes to an abrupt end, we suddenly feel forced to review the ugly list of things we shouldn’t do anymore. Those things we should fix, or the list of stuff we need to change. YUCK!! Who wants that to look forward to that!!!???

While 2010 did seem to be one of my most difficult years to get through because I was challenged on such a deep personal and professional level, and was not always at my best, I’m determined not to beat myself up over it. In the end, it all worked out. I acknowledged a need to make adjustments and made them. Overall, it was my positive actions that helped me make the changes.

Don’t take this the wrong way; we all need to grow and change. And, as many of you know, I am one of the biggest self-help junkies, but as humans, sometimes the brain likes to focus too much on the bad, and we actually need to focus more on the good, because isn’t that what we want more of? It’s so easy to nag ourselves about what we’ve done wrong. We can be so quick to blame ourselves and tear ourselves down, creating a list of bad things about the past year.

If you’re like me, and you make the ‘notorious’ list every January 1^st, and by February 1^st begin losing momentum because you just can’t keep up, don’t stress.  You can quit smoking, start dieting, and find more faith any day of the year. You have the power and the freedom to change yourself and your life, anytime. And if you must write a list, make it a small one and call it goals. Then tuck it away for another day.

 It’s better sometimes to celebrate the good first , then work on improving the bad. It’s like that old saying, ‘pay yourself first’.

This New Year’s, pay yourself first with compliments and positive reinforcement. You are strong and will survive. The bad will take care of itself when you just focus on the good.

This year I am starting 2011 with positive energy, and instead of focusing on what I need to change, what didn’t work and what was wrong with 2010, I want to focus on what I did right and what worked for me!

Because, after all, isn’t it the positive we want more of? Isn’t it the positive that actually helped me through the negative? I believe it is...

Here is  my list of what worked in 2010: (please feel free to share yours with me)

Believing in myself

Trusting

Listening to good advice, Facing my fears and getting an attorney, going to trial for my children (and yes, all in that order)

Having Faith

Praying often

Having an attitude of gratitude

Not over scheduling myself (and yes, that meant saying no when I wanted to say yes)

Having a sense of humor

Camping (despite the rain)

Asking for help

Standing up for what I need

Letting go of what I cannot control

Using more patience

WOW!!  What an amazing list to reflect on! Not only do I feel good about the choices I’ve made, but I can use a lot of these again in 2011!!!

What a great way to begin the new year! With positive thoughts! It can only get better if we focus on what we want more of and the things that are positive!

Make 1/1/11 a day you begin with positive thoughts and energy and let it carry you through the entire year!

Don’t focus on what you haven’t done, don’t  want or don’t have. Just focus on what you did right and what worked J and the rest will all come together.

Now take a few minutes to make your list of changes or accomplishments that you can celebrate, then pat yourself on the back while we welcome 2011!

You will feel much better, I promise.

Happy New Year!

J 

Truly,
Amber