Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Symbols



I’m listening to an audio book called ‘What Would You Do If You Had No Fear, by Diane Conway. I just started it today. Early into the first c.d. it mentions symbols, and no, not the ones we use when we want to let someone know, via text message, that we’re angry. These are different symbols.
Symbols; like things that remind you of, or represent something. Like a rabbits foot can help someone feel good luck will be with them. 
The book says that there’s really something to using symbols, that works for people. Personally, I agree. During the course of a day, I know I can’t always have my nose in a book,  be in the car listening to a motivational c.d. or reading an inspiring story or blog on the internet, so I use symbols.
I have them on my computer at home and at work. At home, I use a screensaver that says Dream. On my computer at work, I have a side bar where I put pictures of my children and quotes that motivate me, focus me, or keep me positive and talk to my soul.
Around my house I keep an award or two that remind me how hard I worked for a certain promotion in the past.
During my divorce, I wore a small gold disk on a tiny chain around my neck which bore the Chinese symbol for strength. In my bathroom I kept a framed picture of my children, the frame had an Eleanor Roosevelt quote on it, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. Both were to remind me not to give up.
Once the divorce was finalized, I had a family picture taken of me and my three children. I had it blown up and framed. It was a major turning point in our lives. I see that picture every single day and recall how much courage it took to do what I had to do and how young my children were. It was the end of one life and the beginning of another. I don’t want to forget it, we are who we are today, because of it.
 In my car, I keep a picture of my kids, and on the visor I have a sticker of Super Man that my son gave me. Attached to Super Man is a quote that says “Success is not a destination, it’s a journey”. Super Man helps me remember that I am strong enough to endure anything life throws at me, and the quote reminds me not to stress about things needing to be done to perfection, yesterday..but to relax and enjoy the ride, today.
For the last year, I’ve had taped to the refrigerator, a piece of paper with the date of when I phoned an attorney to seek custody, and the phrase, “This is your lucky day”, which was what the attorney said when she heard that I couldn’t get anyone else to take my case, though she would. Below it, I taped a penny, on heads; my son had found it the next day. Looking at those symbols every day, no matter how ugly things got and how financially burdening they were, helped keep me stay hopeful, and believe that in the end, it would all work out…and that it was all worth it, and all signs were pointing to a victory.
Five years later, my divorce is long over and a promising new life has been in the works. A year later, the custody battle is over and everything worked out perfectly.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t do life without visual reminders of what my intentions are.
I’ve mentioned before, I have a black and white framed photo of ripples of water that were affected by a single drop. That’s my daily visual inspiration of how I want to touch others with the life I’ve lived and the experiences I’ve had.
Recently I learned a new way to visually stay motivated; it’s called a goal card. It is a laminated card that you keep in your pocket or wallet, which lists your long term goals. But not just any long term goals. Those big lofty long term goals, the dreams that everyone thinks you’re e crazy for thinking...I’m going to try that one next.
I’ll let you know how it works out.

Why a Mission Statement?


The first time I created a mission statement was when I was preparing to become a columnist for the Norwich Bulletin in Connecticut.

The senior editor talked with me before we launched and went over the agenda and the scope of the job. He also asked me to create a mission statement. It was then that I put on paper what I wanted to accomplish with my writing.

My mission statement  for my column was :To help people find the profound moments in life’s daily routines, while inspiring them to gain insight and an optimistic mindset about the future.I basically wanted to help divorced readers find positive insight.

Because, as many divorcees will attest to, divorce can wreak havoc on your life.  Whether it was a necessary divorce, or not, whether you prepared for it or not, it can destroy your present world and leave your future world uncertain.

It’s as if you are standing in the middle of a bustling city with hundreds of things going on around you, there’s people everywhere. You have a secure feeling.  Then suddenly, the city stops, it becomes completely silent, and then each and every building falls down around you, simultaneously, with a crash. You are left standing alone, and there is nothing left but several large clouds of dust.  

The clouds of dust are the after math of divorce. And as you begin to rebuild, and work through each dust cloud of obstacles, you begin to see the light, and then you suddenly enter another cloud. Divorce is a hard thing to get through, and isn’t over in a day.

My goal as a columnist with Life Goes On was to help divorced readers get through their clouds of dust, helping them to know they weren’t the only ones going through it. For them,  and other readers going through different difficulties, I tried to leave them with positive thoughts by sharing my silver lining moments and humorous takes on the little things.

When the column was over, I didn’t think that I had the need for a mission statement. But, in Chapter 9 of the book, Live Your Calling, by Kevin and Kay Marie Brennfleck, they explain why we should write a mission statement for our life.

I was surprised to read that, I had thought that mission statements were just for businesses. But Kevin and Kay explain that your mission statement is your why. And when you know your why, you have the desire to take action in your life, and will have the drive to stay focused and motivated. The book says that if you have your why, it will help you make goals and prioritize things in your life based on your inner desire. Your why will keep you focused on your goals and will keep your goals in sync with your life’s purpose.

I was immediately inspired. I had had a why for my column. I have a why for my blog. I suppose I needed to have a why for my life.

My Mission Statement hasn’t changed much from the start of Life Goes On, it’s very much the same. I guess that’s how you know your true why…if 4 years later, you can say it almost verbatim from when you first wrote it.

My mission: To share with people my personal perspective and and the ways that I endure life’s events,  in hopes that they find some insight, inspiration or humor from it. To help improve emotional wellbeing by uniting people through common experiences, encouraging them to reach out to one another with empathy by sharing their thoughts and their life’s experiences with genuine understanding.

We are all the same emotionally. We all experience the same feelings. We all hurt and heal. We all get stuck in life, and we all persevere. It is how we cope with all of these, that is different.

I want to make people happy, help them feel better. I want to help them persevere and rebuild. I know my why. 

Do you?