Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm sorry.

No one’s perfect right? If I screw up, oh well, right? It’s no secret that I make mistakes. So, the sooner I apologize and work on rectifying the situation, the better…I try to teach this to my children, by example. And in the past, I have more than once, admitted being tired and that ‘I didn’t mean to yell’.  I’ve also been known to admit I was wrong when I didn’t let my child finish their sentence before I jumped to a conclusion.
I’m hoping that I’m  teaching them that I’ve acknowledged my wrong-doing, and  they were correct in feeling I was off base, or out of line. During moments like those I end up learning a valuable lesson on how to handle things the next time, while teaching them how to behave and how not to behave.
So, what’s the big deal with making an apology to my significant other?
There shouldn’t be anything wrong with it, but it always seems slightly more difficult to do than apologizing to the kids.
Today was one of those days….
My significant other was doing his best to address something we talked about previously. He was being pro-active, and trying to do the right thing, he was trying to talk to me about something and I basically made him wish he hadn’t.
I was having a rough morning. I hadn’t gotten up when the alarm first went off, my children needed assistance all at the same time, and I was doing a last minute thing for school. I was not happy with the situation.  Nor was I happy with myself.
I was frustrated and I just wanted to be done with what I was doing. I did not want any interruptions, let alone any questions. I had a ton of other things on my mind and I was abrupt. I quickly cut off the conversation. I did not handle it well, to say the least.
I felt awful. I knew, even before he left for work, that I was wrong. I tried to talk to him about it, but without apologizing. I guess I wanted to think that I was right.
After he left I felt even worse. I knew I was wrong and I really hadn’t meant to start the day off that way.
We would now spend all day apart…he would think that he’d been wrong, when all along, he’d been right.
I put on some quiet music and began to think as I went about my morning. I let go of my pride and had the sudden urge to text him, two words: I’m sorry.
To my surprise, he apologized back. He said that he could have handled things better and I said the same. It made me smile. I felt relieved, the weight had been lifted.
Now he could go about his day without the stress and anguish he’d gotten, from being confused. And, although I may have preferred him to go about the morning’s discussion a little differently, the truth was, he did the best he could. He was working hard to communicate. (Something I’ve asked him to improve on.)
I, on the other hand, displayed no patience what-so-ever and ended up messing up a good moment and feeling guilty about it.
So, I learned today, that my patience is best used when I don’t have any ;)
I suppose it’s moments like those that counting to 5, or 10, if need be, would be wise and quite helpful. Even just putting up a hand to ask for a second or two to think and focus. That way, I will refrain from pushing someone away, when all they were trying to do was ‘the right thing’. And…most likely, it would keep me from having to apologize.
Thankfully, my mistake was easily rectified and I was forgiven. It’s not easy to admit your wrong, but it sure is best to not wait too long to make the apology.
We both learned a little something today about our communication habits, we both had a great day at work, and coming home tonight was wonderful. It was as if this morning never happened.
Nobody accomplishes anything by holding on to pride or anger. No one wins when you want to be right.
Be humble and love.

1 comment:

  1. Deep breaths too! I find that to be helpful. :) Thanks for sharing your insight! It's nice to know that we've all been there!