Monday, January 3, 2011

Taking the Plunge Again



I’m getting married in ten months and it’s not my first time.
I was married in 1995 and stayed married for ten years.
I worked hard on my marriage and resorted to divorce only after I felt I’d exhausted every avenue of repairing my relationship. And as I was asked in the court room that day, ‘is this marriage broken down without the possibility of repair’; I answered yes, it had. I was done and clearly he’d been done for a while.
I had broken dreams and my life was upside down. But I knew that I was an amazing mother and person, and that whatever problems I had, I could fix, and whatever problems he had, I would never be able to fix.
Divorce leaves a person broken and jaded. It’s a tumultuous event and it uproots all that you are and all that you know.  But, in some severe cases, it’s necessary.
I walked away certain that I never wanted to get married again.
As I moved farther along past the divorce, I realized that getting remarried was probably something I would like to do again but I didn’t know when I’d be ready.
To actually get married a second time, I had to be absolutely, positively  sure that it was the right thing. Especially, since I have three children.
I am sure that this marriage is the right thing and I only wish I knew how to tell my if my first husband was right before I got married to him.
Looking back, the aha moment for me is when I spent the entire month prior to my first wedding, asking everyone, ‘how do you know it’s right?’, that’s a very good indication that it’s not.
Share your thoughts on how you knew your spouse was the right one. How do you know when someone is not the right one?
Truly,
Amber

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