Monday, February 7, 2011

Q: What’s communication got to do with it?

A: Everything.

Have you ever felt as if no one listens to you? Or worse, no one understands you?

 It could be because they don’t.

This week I am writing about communication and how it plays a direct part in our successes, failures and happiness.

Why is it important to communicate well?
Because…the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our communication…I know that I have heard this somewhere before and I believe it completely.
Face it; we are not mind readers. We cannot presume someone else’s thoughts, intentions or desires, anymore than they can guess ours.
How many times have you said something and somebody took it the wrong way? How often did you attempt to say what you were thinking, but ended up saying something completely different? How often do you tell someone what you want, but don’t get it?
It happens…. Communication is not easy and takes practice. Hence why there are courses on it and couples go to counseling to improve it.
Likewise, there are many different facets to communication. Here are a top few:
Ø Verbal
Ø Listening
Ø Body Language
Ø Tone of voice/inflection
Not everyone is aware of how important each one of these is and how much they contribute to what you say, how you say and what people hear.
Contrary to what some might believe these parts of communication are not created equal.
See if you can decide which one of these would be of the utmost importance in communicating. Then write down how much of the percentage of the conversation you think it is.
These are just the most commonly mentioned parts of communicating; I have a list of others I will address later on in the week, but for now I’d like you to stop reading and start writing.
·        Write down a few of the most recent times when you felt the most misunderstood.
·        Write down with whom it tends to happen with and when.
·        Maybe you could list a few of the topics/situations that arise during those situations. (This may take a few extra minutes to recall, but do the best you can.)
·        Write down why you think communication in these situations is not going well.
·        What one thing do you wish those people/person should change.
In my next post you can use your answers to help you gain more insight into communication breakdowns which will lead you one step closer to better relationships.
‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’ – George Bernard Shaw
                                                       ….to be continued….


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