Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Don't Have Many Friends

I really have to say I don't think I have many friends.

Okay, maybe that came out wrong.

I have not had many 'good' friends.

Wait, that isn't quite what I mean either.

Let me try again:

Over the years, I've only had a few really close genuine friends.

Ah, that's better.

So, why do you suppose this is?

It might be because I'm a very busy mother. Many can relate to that...

It could be because I am not very friendly...ummmm, uh uh, that's surely not it.

Hey, I know! It might be because I'm a jerk! Nah, I've already said that I'm not a jerk...

So, if it's not any of those things...I have to wonder, it it's because 'I call it like I see it'.

Do you know how many people in the world would actually prefer you tell them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear? (I don't know the number either, but I'm betting it's a lot!)

I've never been a sugar coater. I like to ask thought provoking questions and give people my honest opinion (if they ask for it first, of course, otherwise that's just rude...).

Here's an example of the shoe being on the other foot: (Mine actually)

The other day, I called a couple of my friends for some advice. One of them was my father. (Yes, even after my turbulent angry teen years, I consider my dad my friend.)

I can tell my dad anything, and that man will, well...'tell me like he see's it'. (Gulp)

Never for a second does he entertain any idea that my brain comes up with, if... he sees a true problem with it.

I hat that about him....and love it at the same time.

After a good hour long chat on the phone, I hung up feeling deflated...but confident! You see, I had sensed I wanted to make a choice that may not be the 'best' one...and after telling him all of my ideas, and he telling me 'all of the truth behind my ideas', I realized it probably wasn't going to be the best plan after all.

He was right...of course. (I hate that too sometimes.)

After my husband and I discussed my chat with Dad, we agreed our gut had told us not to do in the first place anyhow, and though I sort of didn't want to listen to it....

I didn't want to, but I needed to.

Often, if we tell our friends the truth about something they are about to do, they can become defensive.
They can even come to the decision that they don't consider us a friend. It's not that we don't believe in them, love them or trust them. It's actually, just the opposite...we care for them more than they know and just don't want to see them fall.

If that causes me to have less friends, so be it. I'd rather be honest with them, than tell them a lie that they will be angry with me for later.

So it's back to the drawing board for me!

Thanks Dad! (And I mean that in the most sincere way.)

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