I'm sorry.

No one’s perfect right? If I screw up, oh well, right? It’s no secret that I make mistakes. So, the sooner I apologize and work on rectifying the situation, the better…I try to teach this to my children, by example. And in the past, I have more than once, admitted being tired and that ‘I didn’t mean to yell’.  I’ve also been known to admit I was wrong when I didn’t let my child finish their sentence before I jumped to a conclusion.

I’m hoping that I’m  teaching them that I’ve acknowledged my wrong-doing, and  they were correct in feeling I was off base, or out of line. During moments like those I end up learning a valuable lesson on how to handle things the next time, while teaching them how to behave and how not to behave.

So, what’s the big deal with making an apology to my significant other?

There shouldn’t be anything wrong with it, but it always seems slightly more difficult to do than apologizing to the kids.

Today was one of those days….

My significant other was doing his best to address something we talked about previously. He was being pro-active, and trying to do the right thing, he was trying to talk to me about something and I basically made him wish he hadn’t.

I was having a rough morning. I hadn’t gotten up when the alarm first went off, my children needed assistance all at the same time, and I was doing a last minute thing for school. I was not happy with the situation.  Nor was I happy with myself.

I was frustrated and I just wanted to be done with what I was doing. I did not want any interruptions, let alone any questions. I had a ton of other things on my mind and I was abrupt. I quickly cut off the conversation. I did not handle it well, to say the least.

I felt awful. I knew, even before he left for work, that I was wrong. I tried to talk to him about it, but without apologizing. I guess I wanted to think that I was right.

After he left I felt even worse. I knew I was wrong and I really hadn’t meant to start the day off that way.

We would now spend all day apart…he would think that he’d been wrong, when all along, he’d been right.

I put on some quiet music and began to think as I went about my morning. I let go of my pride and had the sudden urge to text him, two words: I’m sorry.

To my surprise, he apologized back. He said that he could have handled things better and I said the same. It made me smile. I felt relieved, the weight had been lifted.

Now he could go about his day without the stress and anguish he’d gotten, from being confused. And, although I may have preferred him to go about the morning’s discussion a little differently, the truth was, he did the best he could. He was working hard to communicate. (Something I’ve asked him to improve on.)

I, on the other hand, displayed no patience what-so-ever and ended up messing up a good moment and feeling guilty about it.

So, I learned today, that my patience is best used when I don’t have any ;)

I suppose it’s moments like those that counting to 5, or 10, if need be, would be wise and quite helpful. Even just putting up a hand to ask for a second or two to think and focus. That way, I will refrain from pushing someone away, when all they were trying to do was ‘the right thing’. And…most likely, it would keep me from having to apologize.

Thankfully, my mistake was easily rectified and I was forgiven. It’s not easy to admit your wrong, but it sure is best to not wait too long to make the apology.

We both learned a little something today about our communication habits, we both had a great day at work, and coming home tonight was wonderful. It was as if this morning never happened.

Nobody accomplishes anything by holding on to pride or anger. No one wins when you want to be right.

Be humble and love.

Symbols

I’m listening to an audio book called ‘What Would You Do If You Had No Fear, by Diane Conway. I just started it today. Early into the first c.d. it mentions symbols, and no, not the ones we use when we want to let someone know, via text message, that we’re angry. These are different symbols.

Symbols; like things that remind you of, or represent something. Like a rabbits foot can help someone feel good luck will be with them. 

The book says that there’s really something to using symbols, that works for people. Personally, I agree. During the course of a day, I know I can’t always have my nose in a book,  be in the car listening to a motivational c.d. or reading an inspiring story or blog on the internet, so I use symbols.

I have them on my computer at home and at work. At home, I use a screensaver that says Dream. On my computer at work, I have a side bar where I put pictures of my children and quotes that motivate me, focus me, or keep me positive and talk to my soul.

Around my house I keep an award or two that remind me how hard I worked for a certain promotion in the past.

During my divorce, I wore a small gold disk on a tiny chain around my neck which bore the Chinese symbol for strength. In my bathroom I kept a framed picture of my children, the frame had an Eleanor Roosevelt quote on it, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. Both were to remind me not to give up.

Once the divorce was finalized, I had a family picture taken of me and my three children. I had it blown up and framed. It was a major turning point in our lives. I see that picture every single day and recall how much courage it took to do what I had to do and how young my children were. It was the end of one life and the beginning of another. I don’t want to forget it, we are who we are today, because of it.

 In my car, I keep a picture of my kids, and on the visor I have a sticker of Super Man that my son gave me. Attached to Super Man is a quote that says “Success is not a destination, it’s a journey”. Super Man helps me remember that I am strong enough to endure anything life throws at me, and the quote reminds me not to stress about things needing to be done to perfection, yesterday..but to relax and enjoy the ride, today.

For the last year, I’ve had taped to the refrigerator, a piece of paper with the date of when I phoned an attorney to seek custody, and the phrase, “This is your lucky day”, which was what the attorney said when she heard that I couldn’t get anyone else to take my case, though she would. Below it, I taped a penny, on heads; my son had found it the next day. Looking at those symbols every day, no matter how ugly things got and how financially burdening they were, helped keep me stay hopeful, and believe that in the end, it would all work out…and that it was all worth it, and all signs were pointing to a victory.

Five years later, my divorce is long over and a promising new life has been in the works. A year later, the custody battle is over and everything worked out perfectly.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t do life without visual reminders of what my intentions are.

I’ve mentioned before, I have a black and white framed photo of ripples of water that were affected by a single drop. That’s my daily visual inspiration of how I want to touch others with the life I’ve lived and the experiences I’ve had.

Recently I learned a new way to visually stay motivated; it’s called a goal card. It is a laminated card that you keep in your pocket or wallet, which lists your long term goals. But not just any long term goals. Those big lofty long term goals, the dreams that everyone thinks you’re e crazy for thinking...I’m going to try that one next.

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Why a Mission Statement?

The first time I created a mission statement was when I was preparing to become a columnist for the Norwich Bulletin in Connecticut.

The senior editor talked with me before we launched and went over the agenda and the scope of the job. He also asked me to create a mission statement. It was then that I put on paper what I wanted to accomplish with my writing.

My mission statement  for my column was :To help people find the profound moments in life’s daily routines, while inspiring them to gain insight and an optimistic mindset about the future.I basically wanted to help divorced readers find positive insight.

Because, as many divorcees will attest to, divorce can wreak havoc on your life.  Whether it was a necessary divorce, or not, whether you prepared for it or not, it can destroy your present world and leave your future world uncertain.

It’s as if you are standing in the middle of a bustling city with hundreds of things going on around you, there’s people everywhere. You have a secure feeling.  Then suddenly, the city stops, it becomes completely silent, and then each and every building falls down around you, simultaneously, with a crash. You are left standing alone, and there is nothing left but several large clouds of dust.  

The clouds of dust are the after math of divorce. And as you begin to rebuild, and work through each dust cloud of obstacles, you begin to see the light, and then you suddenly enter another cloud. Divorce is a hard thing to get through, and isn’t over in a day.

My goal as a columnist with Life Goes On was to help divorced readers get through their clouds of dust, helping them to know they weren’t the only ones going through it. For them,  and other readers going through different difficulties, I tried to leave them with positive thoughts by sharing my silver lining moments and humorous takes on the little things.

When the column was over, I didn’t think that I had the need for a mission statement. But, in Chapter 9 of the book, Live Your Calling, by Kevin and Kay Marie Brennfleck, they explain why we should write a mission statement for our life.

I was surprised to read that, I had thought that mission statements were just for businesses. But Kevin and Kay explain that your mission statement is your why. And when you know your why, you have the desire to take action in your life, and will have the drive to stay focused and motivated. The book says that if you have your why, it will help you make goals and prioritize things in your life based on your inner desire. Your why will keep you focused on your goals and will keep your goals in sync with your life’s purpose.

I was immediately inspired. I had had a why for my column. I have a why for my blog. I suppose I needed to have a why for my life.

My Mission Statement hasn’t changed much from the start of Life Goes On, it’s very much the same. I guess that’s how you know your true why…if 4 years later, you can say it almost verbatim from when you first wrote it.

My mission: To share with people my personal perspective and and the ways that I endure life’s events,  in hopes that they find some insight, inspiration or humor from it. To help improve emotional wellbeing by uniting people through common experiences, encouraging them to reach out to one another with empathy by sharing their thoughts and their life’s experiences with genuine understanding.

We are all the same emotionally. We all experience the same feelings. We all hurt and heal. We all get stuck in life, and we all persevere. It is how we cope with all of these, that is different.

I want to make people happy, help them feel better. I want to help them persevere and rebuild. I know my why. 

Do you?

A Classic

My father came to stay with our family this summer. We spent a week of doing fun things with the kids. One of the places we took him was a car museum. I pass by it almost every day and had not yet visited it.

I didn’t know  exactly what to expect. I figured, at a place with Speed in its name, we’d find a ton of fast cars. I was very excited to go; I love cars and so does my dad.

After walking around a while, at the museum, I noticed that there weren’t only fast cars, but some serious classic cars on display. Some of them were around when my grandparents were very young. Others cars my father owned at one time or another. ‘How neat!’, I thought.

It was neat alright, until, at the end of our visit, I found my old car.

UGH!! MY car in a MUSEUM!!!??? I was shocked, and said so, out loud! My children, all three of them, carried on through the museum with no regard what-so-ever.  They didn’t get it. Mom was 37 and her car is in a museum…they saw nothing wrong with it.

Walking through the aisles of cars, I kept doing the math, since I really thought it was silly that a car I used to own was on display in a museum…as a classic. ‘Is that car really a classic? Is that car really that old? What year was that?’ I mean, I didn’t buy the car as a classic. It was used, it was seven years old when I got it. Am I really that old?

No matter how I added it up, the numbers did not lie.  My car, the one I thought was the cat’s meow of a sports car when I was 19; a 5 speed with t-tops and bucket seats was now sitting in a museum, it was 23 years old, and considered a classic in most states.  

I never was the type to care about aging before. But today, I sort of felt a little uneasy. Honestly, around my birthday, I usually enjoy being a year older. It didn't bother me how old I was and  would tell friends, ‘you couldn’t pay me to go back to being younger again’. Not after how each year I grow and overcome obstacles, correct mistakes, improve on my weaknesses and find new strengths. I loved aging….until of course I found my car in a classic car museum.  

Looking back, I don’t know what the big deal was, it was just a car, in a museum. 

But last week, I found out that the car-in-the-museum-thing was just a small taste of what was to come, a preparation of sorts. Because,on Halloween, I realized it was my 21^st anniversary of getting my driver’s license. Then one night I woke up at 4 a.m. sweating (when I’m usually a freeze baby). And the other day, I found a gray hair while getting ready for work….ssshhhh, don’t tell anyone…I pulled it out.

No, I should not have been bothered by my car being labeled a classic and put into a museum…because I had a bigger set of things lurking in the shadows to remind me that I was getting older.

You know, though, this could be okay. I mean, wine is better with age, right? And so is cheese. Besides, what's wrong with being a classic? Yes, YES! Aging is a good thing!

Change

A friend once told me, that two things you can be sure of are death and taxes. Another is change.

Today, the weather is changing, again. The fall leaves are not yet completely off the trees and we have our first snow in Ohio.

It’s beautiful to me. I love it and I embrace the difference of the seasons (hence, why I made a geographical move laterally, relocating from Connecticut to Ohio three years ago, when I had an opportunity to move south).

Change is inevitable. I think most of the time, once comfortable, we’d prefer no change whatsoever. When something’s working, why change? Similarly, we wish that the good times would last, the warm weather would stay longer and relationships would freeze in the ideal romantic moments. But they can’t.

Take ourselves, for example. If things are comfortable, why seek anything else? Things are working out, so why change?

I love to persue self-understanding and personal growth. I believe that although we all have our own knowledge, perspective and outlooks we should be open-minded to different ones. We should be open to change.

If we are, we will actually see ourselves and our abilities grow to amazing capacitie. We will seek new heights and may surprise ourselves with what we can accomplish and who we can become.

I feel that on the other hand, being close-minded to change, can lead us to become stagnant. We can be so set in our ways and habits we will ultimately limit our abilities to succeed at greater levels and grow as a person.

Granted the top reasons for close-mindedness tend to be ignorance and fear; just not understanding or wanting to understand new ideas or concepts and the fear of the work that might be involved.

Acceptance of circumstances and settling for what the situation is, can also prevent change.  We just assume we can’t change, and that change would be too difficult to achieve; downright nearly impossible. So, it is what it is.

But, if we only take a look at things with new eyes, be curious and investigate new ideas, face the fear and come out of our comfort zone, we will expand our perspective and our potential!

I feel passionate about what people can do when they embrace change. Make a goal to try something new this week, take on a different perspective or ask a new question. Challenge yourself to think. You might find change isn’t such a bad thing;) and that it may just open some doors.

Don’t forget to set the clocks back tonight and look forward to change.

Silver Lining (A Post from my previous column)

  To fill in a little back-story regarding Thursday's post, 

             while ending on a positive note;

We’ve all heard about clouds with silver linings.  We get handed a lot of these every day.  Sometimes our paths are altered in minor ways, sometimes major.  When this happens, we have a choice; we can view it as either positive or negative. 

          In my case I was eight years old my parents got divorced.  My father chose to raise me.  I never saw my mother again until I was twenty.  I was extremely resentful that she was not a part of my childhood and I was teased relentlessly by the kids in elementary school about not having a mother. 

            As you can imagine, it took me a long time to find something positive about this situation.

            Once I became a mother myself and was more mature, I felt that there were several good reasons why my mother had not been a large part of my life growing up.

            My mother is the type of person who says yes to anything and everything.  She doesn’t know how to say no.  Had she stuck around, my life would have been quite different.   I can see now how her leniency and her extra sweet, eager to please personality would have deprived me some of the life lessons that I needed to learn.

          My father was the one who knew how to set boundaries for me and who was a thorough disciplinarian.  And although I despised the rules and punishments as a kid, I look back now and appreciate them.

            The best of all about my mother not being around when I was growing up was that I got the opportunity to have several women in my lives as mother figures.   They included my Nanny, (my father’s mother), my father’s two sisters, his long term girlfriend and my step-mother.  Each of these women taught me different things about life, and as I reflect upon who I am, I find within myself, many of these women's qualities. 

For example, I have my Nanny’s old fashioned values, her tenacity and her humor.   From my eldest Aunt I have a deep love of people, family, emotions and the psyche.  From my younger aunt I have the love of architecture, art, photography, and music.   From my Dad’s old girlfriend from way back, I learned to cook and decorate the house to celebrate the holidays.  From my step-mom I have learned how to believe in myself and accept myself. She was the one who was most understanding and supportive while I was going through my divorce.

As my marriage had come to an end, I was frustrated about not being able to come up with even one good reason why I was getting divorced.  Maybe it had been too soon after the divorce to think positively, but as time passed, I finally found many good reasons that my marriage didn’t work out.

One reason being, I am finding more of myself, the same person I used to be before I got married, just better. I have more self-confidence. I‘ve made many more friends, and have found within me, strengths and abilities that I didn’t know I possessed or just forgot I had.  Best of all, the bond that I have with my children is much stronger now that I am a happier, healthier person. 

While going through these two unfortunate events wasn’t easy, I feel that because of them I became better prepared to teach my three children about what’s really important in life.  Like how to look within themselves for true love and happiness prior to loving someone else.   That sometimes things aren’t going to go their way so they need to learn good coping skills. 

Beeing a child of divorce, I also wanted to be sure not to repeat the same mistakes with my kids as my parents did with me. 

 I wanted to reduce the amount of trauma on my children, as much as possible.  So, unlike my parents, who never explained to me what was happening to our family, I’ve offered constant, open communication with my children.

 In the case where I was moved around from place to place for much of my childhood, I’ve provided my kids with as much stability as possible by keeping them in their family home for as long as I could and keeping much of their routines the same.We waited to make major changes, and made them slowly and only when we all felt that we could handle them.

 Life is not without mistakes or misfortune and without these things we would miss opportunities to grow and become better people.  My oldest child is happy it worked out this way, she knows we have all grown since the divorce.

There are lessons to be learned with each obstacle and hardship in life, and while we hope they never happen and when they do happen we instantly want to wish them away, they're happening for a reason.  

 If we can learn the lesson, than we will pass the test.  We’ll be stronger for next test and we might even be able to help someone else along the way.

I went without a mother for most of my life, I endured a ton of sorrow and pain, but it was not in vain..It prepared me for raising healthy children in the turmoil of divorce.

Read to Learn

Parent teacher conferences were Wednesday.  It was good to hear right from the teacher how my child was doing. Apparently, my middle child, the one I worried would never read a book in her life, is reading at a sixth grade reading level. She is a fourth grader. I’m so proud of her, and I know that it took a lot of hard work to get where she is.

I’m excited watching my children grow. I love seeing them develop into who they were meant to be. I try so hard to support, nurture and love them to my fullest potential, so that they may live up to theirs.

Occasionally, I wonder what kind of mother I would have been if I had not gone through the childhood experiences I had.

I’ve been told that I am an excellent mother and it’s probably because of the type of mother that I had.

My mother was no picnic, and when I say no picnic, it means there was not a picnic. I had no mother. In third grade I recall getting into fights with people because I was the kid ‘with no mother’. It was true, but I didn’t want it to be.

As a kid, I knew someone gave birth to me, I knew her name, but couldn’t remember for the life of me what she looked like. I was 9, 10, teens and a young adult. She just wasn’t there, ever. I was then married, and then a mother myself…yep, still no mom…well, technically by then she was reachable, but not emotionally.

So, when I meet the teacher and she tells me how wonderful my child is, and what good grades she has, and that I am doing a wonderful  job with her, I have to wonder, ‘Where do I get my mothering skills

Because, clearly my own mother did not have them.

Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe I get them from my grandmother. She loved me unconditionally, she was always there for me, and still is to this day. She’s funny, loving and straight up. I love her like she is my mother, always have and always will. She cared for people, showed you respect (if you deserved it) and she never faked who she was. She instilled manors and never, ever, ever, under any circumstance told me what to do or ‘I told ya so’.

There were many influences on me that could have contributed to my ability to being a good mother, but above of all, I think I learned the most about being a mother by reading books.

I keep telling my daughter that reading will open doors for her in every aspect of her life and that if she can read, she will be able to do anything.

I didn’t have a mother and I didn’t have sisters with children, so I read. At every stage and every age of my childrens lives, I read. I want to continually educate myself on parenting.  

Of course, every parent knows that it takes more than just reading a book to parent well, but it’s a great start.  So in my eyes, yes, you can do anything if you read. It worked for me.

What would you do...

 if you knew that you only had a month to live? 

I know what I would do, I would never worry again and I would spend the rest of my time with my family.

I haven’t figured out if it would be good, or not, to know when you’re going to die. 

Would it be a gift? You’d be given a chance to tell people all the things you wanted to say? Would it help to know that your time is limited? Ir is horrible to know that the time is shorter than you anticipated?

Given the choice I’m not sure which of these I would want, but I guess I won’t have to worry about that. I will not have the privilege to choose.

On my side bar is a list of books that I’ve read. One of my favorites is Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture. I encourage everyone to read it. It’s short, poignant, humorous and touching. It really makes you think.

When I was reading it, I felt that that Randy was trying to say that his bucket list has been met. He had achieved success in life because, in his eyes, each of his dreams was achieved. He explained his childhood dreams, how his parents supported those dreams, and how he grew into a man and pursued those dreams and then made more dreams come to fruition, which he eventually shared with his wife.

He had cancer. He left behind three very young children and he also left behind his Last Lecture in writing…to remind those who have time left on Earth to be grateful for it and to live it to its potential. He reminds us to be ourselves, love those who are important to us and not to give up on our childhood dreams.  I was down when I read it, I knew I needed to hear what he had to say.

He teaches us not to sweat the small stuff as he dumps coca cola all over his new cars seats to prove to his niece and nephew that it is not the car that matters to him, but the time spent together with them, is what’s important…good thing, since on his return trip to get them to their mom, his nephew throws up all over the back seat.

Life is a gift to us and our life is a gift to others as well. I know this because there are people everywhere who know someone who blessed their lives, but who is now no longer with them in the physical form. We all touch one another and we are all the same; brothers and sisters, emotional and imperfect, ever changing, linked.

There is not a day that goes by I’m not aware of those who will be greatly missed from my life if they were taken from me tomorrow. The goal is to tell them and show them often, exactly how important they are to me and how much it means to have them in my life.

Our over scheduled lives, work schedules and stresses..the imposed deadlines and forced appointments are just some of the many things that keep us distracted and can inevitably keep us from telling someone we thought about them today, love them and appreciate them.

As life happens and we continue to endure daily stresses, we, as a result, can occasionally take for granted the present. We may not think about how life would change if someone we love were not there anymore. We can become impatient, short, or tend to procrastinate making that phone call, writing a note or sending a card. It happens,  life happens. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that it’s happening, stop..and take a moment to touch someone.

For those who are stellar at the phone calls and the visits, and who never let the sun go down without reaching out, you are beautiful. You are special.  I know several people like that and I admire them. They have enjoyed and appreciated all of their time on earth with their loved ones, and those loved ones never doubted for a minute how much they were loved and appreciated.

The past is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.-Eleanor Roosevelt

                                 In memory of Gayla Arlia and Glen Roberge

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe-Eosmk6oE
    ~If today was your last day - Nickelback~

Did you know?

The kids are off from school today and I was blessed to be able to work from home.
Thanks Boss!

I've had a household routine since my kids were very small. It's called Quiet Time.
After lunch, we take a time out. They are allowed to read on their beds and nothing else. My oldest is 13 and she loves it. I've been doing this since a friend suggested it to me when I had my third child about 6 years ago. She said it would be good for me and for them.  It lasts about 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

Today, I asked them what they were reading and checked out the books they chose. My middle child loves non-fiction and so she is really into Lassie, science-type books and World Record books. I remembered the Guiness Book and Ripley's Believe it or Not when I was her age, so I chose to flip through her World Record pages.

As I  read through some of the facts, I was interested to find how many times the U.S. made it on the top of the charts. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, so I will let you develop your own opinions.

Did you know that according to the Book of World Records 2009 (Scholastic):

               THE UNITED STATES TOPS THE LIST IN THESE CATEGORIES:

• The country that watches the most T.V.-56.7 hrs. per week
• The country with the most websites-54.64 million
• The country with the most internet users-210.2 million (we account for 17% of the users worldwide, women are first in line, then men, then teens ages 12-17 with the avg. hours per week spent online=14
• The most movie screens-38,852 inside of 35,000 movie theaters
• The country that spends the most on toys-$36.5 billion
• The country with the most roads-3,995,186 miles
• The country with the most vehicles-238 million registered, 136.5 of them being passenger cars the rest commercial

......And one record that has nothing to do with the U.S. what-so-ever, and I wish I hadn't looked at it:

The World's Largest Spider at 11 inches..The Goliath Birdeater.. As if Goliath didn't say enough about his size they needed to give him two names. (Apparently this spider doesn't eat birds. Oh.. well, that's comforting...)

                     Don't forget to vote! You are one, but together we make a difference.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

My passion for photography runs deep.

I received my first camera when I was 8 yrs old. 

and not long after, I went on my

first photography expedition. I still have the pictures of

that trip where I snapped shots of landscapes, water and various

other things. My desire is to use my passion for photography

 with my blog is not only to add good design element,

but to share with you what I see when I am behind the camera,

in the hopes of inspiring you visually as well as verbally.

I am a lover of art, all art...

Welcome to my art Gallery.

By the way, that is a picture of my son, at 4, with my Cannon Rebel SLR camera.

It is a film camera and I still own it. I'm only a few months into digital and it took me

a long time to convert. I will always love my film camera.

All of my children have been behind the lens of my Rebel, and they all take great photographs!

No child is ever too young to use a camera... It shows us their perspective of how they see the world

while introducing them to another art form.

A good fine art photograph is one that makes the viewer so aware of the emotional content,

that the viewer is unaware of the print.

-Brooks Jensen

Happy Halloween Matey!

              

I’m sure we can all remember at least a few of our childhood Halloween costumes.

I know for a fact, when I was 8 and 9, I was a blue Care Bear. (Go figure)

I also remember being a Witch one year (which I truly believe had no reference to

to the future…maybe a little.) That year my uncle made me an incredible costume.

My hat was made out of black spray painted newspaper with

gold stars,and a wand from wood with a cardboard silver-glitter-covered-star.

One yearI was a Punk Rocker. Tons of hairspray and makeup is all I remember, lol.

Halloween is probably one of my favorite times because it is so much fun to decorate

with orange and yellow leaves, pumpkins and mums. It’s also exciting to see what the

children pick out for costumes and what motivates them to do so.

Saturday night we finished sewing my eldest daughter’s Wizard costume. It’s really amazing

with black glittery  satin fabric and shiny teal lining with a special clasp at the neck.

 Alongside my Wizard will be an Evil Doctor and a Transformer. I am going as myself this year.

Too busy to plan out a costume. But just for the record even though I’ve been known to

wear that Witch costume now and again, I truly do mean well.

Do Good.

My Name is Earl, was a program I loved watching. I enjoyed seeing the way a guy could reform from being bad, to being good. It was a comedy show, but there was always a lesson at the end.

Tonight I decided to turn on late night TV to relax. To my surprise, my old friend Earl was on.  The show had just started and all through it I laughed as I always did.

At the end, when it was lesson-learning time, Alyssa Milano’s character turns to Earl with a really heartfelt and serious look and says, ‘Doing good feels good’. Earl replied, ‘Yes, yes it does’. Alyssa then said, ‘and doing bad feels bad’.  Again, Earl nodded and agreed with her, confirming her recent revelation.  Alyssa’s character seemed surprised at the ease and reward of ‘doing good’.

She closed the scene by saying, ‘If doing good feels so good, why don’t more people do it?’ Earl answered, ‘I don’t know.’

That’s a very good question, why don’t people do more good if it feels good?

I don’t know why ‘they’ (whoever ‘they’ are) don’t do more good, but I know why I do.

I like being nice, it makes me feel better about myself. I like holding doors, offering assistance and making someone laugh or smile.  And if someone doesn’t do it for me, I still do it for the next person.

Why not smile and express a cheerful greeting when you meet someone passing on the walk or at the store? Why not smile at someone driving by you.  I do it all the time. The worst they will do is give you a very strange look. But usually, what I witness is, they smile back! Yes, they smile back. And you know, they will probably smile at someone else after that, and maybe someone else after that! Smiling is contagious and feels good when you’re doing it.

There are many reasons to smile at someone. And one reason is clear, it’s polite. Another is maybe  not so clear;  unbeknownst to you,  that person may have private struggles that are so difficult, that your smile is the only light that shined on them that day.

Call me crazy, call me grossly hopeful, but I believe strongly that if we put good back into the world we can make a positive ripple effect and it will keep going and going and going.  Like the stadium wave. It doesn’t stop until  we stop doing it.

In my home I have many motivational quotes and notes. One is a tall poster of a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It is a quote surrounding SUCCESS. It basically says that Success is: leaving the world a better place whether it be by small efforts or large, and lists some of the ways. In another room I have a black and white print of a drop of water creating a ripple effect.

Try doing a few random acts of kindness this weekend and smile at as many people you can! It’s good for your health! It’s a proven fact that smiling is better for your health-check out this list of 12 Reasons to Smile bhttp://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."  -- Mahatma Gandhi