Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Believe in Love

Find this wallpaper here

Some say I'm a fool for remarrying...
I know, it is a little crazy...but...
Love is something which is not always easy to avoid...


Nor is it perfect (let's just set the record straight)...


But...

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.-Kahlil Gibran 

New Year Resolution: Test-Drive #1

In December I wrote about 'test-driving' my New Year's Resolution.

Last year, I traded in my old, beat up resolutions for a new shiny One which I would own for twelve whole months.

Because it was such a big investment, (much like purchasing a vehicle) I thought it might be wise to 'test-drive' a few first.

#1:
 I picked several things I felt I needed/wanted to focus on.

#2:
 I paired up words which made me think of (or meant) those things.

#3:
 I tried each of them for out for a week before I landed on my overall approach for 2012.

It was actually kind of fun. 

Here is The First Test Drive:

"Faith"

I thought since I could sometimes be some-what doubtful about the positive outcome of things, maybe I could use a more positive attitude; Faith seemed like a good word...

Faith...Faith.....Faith...

Just saying the word Faith feels good...doesn't it?

Except....


That after I tried it for a while, I realized that I related it more to church, my religion, saying prayers and reading the bible. Since those things are already present in my life, Faith to me did not work in the way that I thought it would for motivational purposes.


So, I tossed it out. 

(Not my faith, just the word.)

Back to the dictionary!

Read next Monday about Resolution Test-Drive #2.

Fun Friday Quote: Love

Exposureradio.org

Well Said.

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Write (And Why You Should Too)

My Current Journal - A holiday gift last year and a place where  I write my goals and notes.

I write a lot.

I always have.

I actually still have a journal from age twelve. It's not the most beautiful thing in the world. Red, with a little, warn, brass lock and key...tattered binding and scribbled pages. It's here in my house somewhere...a closet maybe...and it might not be that important to me now, but that diary was my salvation when I was a teen.

I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents, and I had to get stuff out, so I wrote.

Journaling became my saving grace when I was an adult, too.

Going through tough times in my marriage/divorce with my 'X', I wrote like a fiend -and yes- I still have those journals too (they are buried and I have no plans of re-reading them...- well maybe I will prior to burning them someday-) they saved me. I had people to talk to then, including a therapist, but there was still so much that just spilled over. It had to go somewhere.

Since those days, I've had three children who need my time and as a busy parent I cannot always journal my thoughts and ideas, but I still write. Most of it is here, or my other two blogs, and in my parenting-book-to-be and my family column.

My writing seems as if it's transformed now, and is more for others than for me. The topics I choose to write about are things I hope others will benefit from...and I consider what others might be coping with or striving to do, though I almost always include something personal and of my own experience.

Visit all of the blogs that are being written now. Many of them are regular people who want to make sense of the world around them and want to share their beliefs and perspectives, as well as a little of their personality.

If you think about it, writing is a very intimate thing.

Hand writing (back in the day) was even more personal, and seems as if it is becoming extinct. (Cursive writing might possibly be phased out of schools.) This is sad, because someones handwriting cannot be duplicated, and no two people will ever think exactly alike or describe something the same way. Not only can you connect with someone from the past when they have died, but you can sort out your own life by writing.

Here are three ways that writing can help you too:

• Journaling can be therapeutic. At times when you do not understand something, it's good to write out the question... Read it and re-read it to yourself...sometimes you'll come up with the answer immediately. (That is usually your gut instinct talking to you.)

• When you're upset, journaling about it, or writing an angry letter (that you never intend to mail) can be an excellent way to channel anger - leaving you refreshed and calm. This is the wisest way to work out aggressive thoughts because it gets it all out of your head without making the mistake of saying something you will regret later. 

• Writing down goals, journaling dreams, making plans in ink....all make things real.

• Problems become easier to break down when they are written out. It's also easier to dissect them to find out if A) they are really that big of a deal, B) how to tackle them.

• It can help your children learn more about you. If you leave a very personal connection behind for your family to read. (The book stores and Amazon are full of these types of journals where all you have to do is fill in the blanks with your answers.)

From experience, all of these things work. Many people will claim they despise writing. Those are the ones who should try it. 

Get out a piece of paper and pen, and just start jotting down some thoughts. 

There are many ways to express yourself...try writing...you might be surprised about what you find.

Plan Ahead to Stay in the Present

These days so many people are encouraging us to stay in the present.

I support this, though can rarely do it. Like most people, my attention is often directed in so many different directions due to busy schedules and multiple media influence.

But, my inability to sit still and be in the now, isn't always because of that....

It's also my own lack of time management.

In the beginning of the year I chose my new One Word for 2012. Very quickly I realized that to be successful with it, I would have to get better organzied.

And, one of the best ways for me to do this was to plan ahead.

Doing this might sound a bit counterproductive to 'staying in the present', but it's not actually.

Why?

Because, getting your to-do list out of the way as soon as you think of it (or know about it):

A) Gives you more time to do what you want to later.
B) Allows you to be more relaxed, less hectic and less overwhelmed.
C) Gives you an opportunity to pick a Plan B (or C) in case Plan A doesn't work out.
D) Affords you more sleep (because you won't be so stressed about tomorrow, since it's already been taken care of!
E) Gives you a longer time period to save for things (or find them on sale).
F) Helps you avoid late fees.
G) Gives you the gift of time: time to relax, enjoy the moment and make a decision without pressure.

Doesn't all of that sound incredible!

 I know you are thinking though, it sounds good, but seems like it's the opposite of procrastination...

It is.

Sorry.

I did say that I was someone who wouldn't tell you what you want to hear.

And I won't....

Don't put off today  tomorrow what you can do today....

Plan ahead, so you can actually enjoy tomorrow.

The other option?

Still having to get done what's on the to-do list, except having to do it in a hurry.

I'd rather have Plan A.

For All the Sports Fans!

'The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is probably the guy who dropped it.'

  ~ Lou Holtz

Read more about this picture

And here's another one for the fans back home:

FUNNY!
Found this yesterday on a friend's Facebook post.
WATCH OUT!!!
(THE MISSING-SUPERBOWL of February 2008
WILL NOW RE-APPEAR THIS SUNDAY
AND IT AIN'T GONNA BE PRETTY!)

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Love the Beach in the Off Season

I went to the beach yesterday. What a beautiful day it was. Sunny and 60, with a slight breeze... Wow...

While I was there, it was hard not to notice the quiet.

Other than that, all I heard were seagulls flying above, a nearby train passing by and the water splashing up onto the shore.

It was the most wonderful way to spend my afternoon.

I like to the beach most in the off-season, when there are fewer people and it's not crowded and busy.

During my time there today, I heard no clicking of the mouse, no ringing of the phone, no text notifications, no car horn beeping......

The beach in the off season is my quiet place. 

For me, it's Peace at it's fullest.

While I walked on the sand, I picked up a few small rocks, like I usually do when I go.

I thought about random things...nothing pressing.

I sat down and read a chapter of a book.

But, most of all I just closed my eyes and listened.

Nature has to be the best place to take a time-out, because there's nothing there that's man-made.

It's all natural, and all amazing.

What strange weather for the last day in January... in a northern (snowy) state such as ours.

But I feel lucky that it is this warm, and that I was able to enjoy today this way.

I believe it was enough to refresh me until the next time I go.

Where's Your Quiet Place and Why Do You Go There? 

Is it to rejuvenate, gain clarity, or simply just to relax? 

Wherever your quiet place is, I hope you go there often.

Did You Know (Dr. Seuss)?

Did you know Dr. Seuss' first book 'And to Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street'  was rejected?

Not once, not twice, but twenty-seven times?

Listen to this story on NPR.org

What if you really wanted something?

What if you were the only one who believed in your dream?

What if no one supported you?

Would you still push?

or

Would you give up?

What if  Dr. Seuss quit?

A whole bunch of kids might not have enjoyed reading...or wouldn't have even learned to read as soon as they did.

Including my own child.

When my ten year old was a little girl, she hated books. Her older sister was an avid reader at two years old, but at eighteen months old my second darling daughter wanted nothing to do with books.

I thought she'd never read...all she wanted to do was run around and scream.

The truth, she needed speech therapy and was more of a tactile and emotional child.

To sit still and listen to a story was nearly impossible, never mind learn to read it.

Finally, after years of continuing to try to read to her, introducing book after book, she finally began to read!

 Hop on Pop and The Foot Book were her first, and she remembers them fondly to this very day!

After conquering those two books, she was off  and running with more:

Dr. Seuss's ABC and Green Eggs and Ham were next!

Sadly, the famous author died ten years ago...ironically, just a few days after my daughter's birth.

You just never know what you could do for someone if you believe in yourself!

Even if it's seventy years later....and for someone you never meet.

Thank you, Dr. Seuss for your stick-to-itiveness!

Fly With This Fun Friday Quote

lolgallery.com

Minds are like parachutes.

They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I Don't Have Many Friends

I really have to say I don't think I have many friends.

Okay, maybe that came out wrong.

I have not had many 'good' friends.

Wait, that isn't quite what I mean either.

Let me try again:

Over the years, I've only had a few really close genuine friends.

Ah, that's better.

So, why do you suppose this is?

It might be because I'm a very busy mother. Many can relate to that...

It could be because I am not very friendly...ummmm, uh uh, that's surely not it.

Hey, I know! It might be because I'm a jerk! Nah, I've already said that I'm not a jerk...

So, if it's not any of those things...I have to wonder, it it's because 'I call it like I see it'.

Do you know how many people in the world would actually prefer you tell them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear? (I don't know the number either, but I'm betting it's a lot!)

I've never been a sugar coater. I like to ask thought provoking questions and give people my honest opinion (if they ask for it first, of course, otherwise that's just rude...).

Here's an example of the shoe being on the other foot: (Mine actually)

The other day, I called a couple of my friends for some advice. One of them was my father. (Yes, even after my turbulent angry teen years, I consider my dad my friend.)

I can tell my dad anything, and that man will, well...'tell me like he see's it'. (Gulp)

Never for a second does he entertain any idea that my brain comes up with, if... he sees a true problem with it.

I hat that about him....and love it at the same time.

After a good hour long chat on the phone, I hung up feeling deflated...but confident! You see, I had sensed I wanted to make a choice that may not be the 'best' one...and after telling him all of my ideas, and he telling me 'all of the truth behind my ideas', I realized it probably wasn't going to be the best plan after all.

He was right...of course. (I hate that too sometimes.)

After my husband and I discussed my chat with Dad, we agreed our gut had told us not to do in the first place anyhow, and though I sort of didn't want to listen to it....

I didn't want to, but I needed to.

Often, if we tell our friends the truth about something they are about to do, they can become defensive.
They can even come to the decision that they don't consider us a friend. It's not that we don't believe in them, love them or trust them. It's actually, just the opposite...we care for them more than they know and just don't want to see them fall.

If that causes me to have less friends, so be it. I'd rather be honest with them, than tell them a lie that they will be angry with me for later.

So it's back to the drawing board for me!

Thanks Dad! (And I mean that in the most sincere way.)

Strive for More

Idearcanvas.com

"Never stop until your good becomes better, 

and your better becomes the best."

~ Frank Zappa Singer-Songwriter

One Simple Quote

In lieu of this week's Y.I.

I thought I'd tip my hat to the Donald one more time:

'As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, 

think big.' 

-Donald Trump

6 Reasons Y.I. Admire Donald Trump

I love Donald Trump.

No, not like I love my husband, my kids, or my coffee, but I really do like him. 

Most people don't seem to, and I'm not sure if it's because he has so much money, because he lost so much money, or because his hair is really, well, Donald.

Personally, I don't care about his money or his hair.

I learned a long time ago that life is too short to live it for others. I also learned that we were given one life to live and it's our right to do with it as we please. Donald inspires people to look ahead, forgive yourself, learn from mistakes and keep moving forward no matter what, because that's how you win.

Here are 6 Reasons Y.I. Admire Donald:

1. He has the ability to admit defeat
2. He has the humility to share his lessons learned
3. He has the tenacity to get what he wants (hey, you only live once)
4. He uses a no no nonsense/common sense approach to business and life
5. He seems to abide by an: 'I'm not here to please the world' attitude when living life (hence the hair still) 
6. He always has the courage to move on after disaster and mistakes

"Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war." ~ Donald Trump

Has Your Life Worked Out the Way You Planned?

About 3 1/2  years ago, I felt like I had hit a brick wall.

I sensed that maybe I was in the wrong place, or maybe I was in the right place, but that the wrong things were happening.

Regardless, I definitely knew life was not exactly as I wanted it to be.

So, after an entire month of reflection and evaluation, I realized I had put myself there, and I had to ask whether or not it was what I wanted.

Indeed, I knew I was in the correct place in life. There wasn't anything I did, or didn't do, which I regretted.
I was still relieved about divorcing my 'X', I was still thrilled with my decision to relocate, and I was quite content being a single mom ....but the rest hadn't fallen into place yet.

I wasn't writing, I was stuck in a dead end job, and I still hadn't gotten that book started.

Around that time, I came across this quote:

"You are where you are because you want to be." 


It seemed simple enough, but hit me so hard. 


I realized at that moment, my situation, good or bad, had to do with me and only me...and that to get out of it and make anything happen I had to take charge.


I cannot even remember where I saw or heard that phrase, but it saved my life.

That very day, I stopped the pity party.

Then, I took a  bright colored marker and wrote that exact quote on a sheet of paper...

I taped it to the wall across from my bed. That way, every morning, when I opened my eyes, I was sure to wake up.


Today, I am happy to say that I write three blogs, have a monthly family column which circulates in a local newspaper and I am working on my parenting book every day. I also started my own copywriting and editing business after my hours got cut at my day job...and I have plenty more in my sights.

The future is ours, if only we seize it.

Superstitious Much?

Ask this question of anyone, and most likely they will answer, 'Eh.. not really' or 'Sort of'.

Thank goodness many do answer like this because upon Googling superstitions this week, I was completely overwhelmed by what I found! There are hundreds of them, if not thousands!

If someone were totally and 100% superstitious, they would have anxiety 24/7 about EVERYTHING!

Did you know that there is a superstition about Acorns?
....Brooms? and.....Matches!?

Yikes!

Did you also know you should never trip on Friday!?

How about this one: The rabbit's foot has more to do with fertility than good luck!?

Superstitious or not, check this out for a little fun!

Want more? Click here!

The bad news? There's a lot of these things floating around.
The good news? I bet we have all dropped an umbrella on the floor, come face to face with a black cat, or forgot to knock on wood, and the world did not end...so, take solace knowing, you probably have nothing to worry about.

"90% of what we worry about, never happens."- Author Unknown

Oh, yeah, by the way...

Happy Friday the 13th!!!

Y.I. Wednesday: Why I'm Not a Jerk

This may seems like an odd Y.I. for Wednesday, but when I explain, I think you will understand. 

Read this:

Three things in human life are important: 

The first is to be kind. 

The second is to be kind. 

And the third is to be kind.

-HENRY JAMES (1843–1916)

Now ponder this:

Aren't there enough people in the world who spend most of their time purposely making others miserable?

How will it solve anything if I were to adopt the mentality, 'give an eye for an eye'?

How would I be able to lead a peaceful, happy life, if I were to spend my life being mean to anyone just because they make a mistake? 

Most people know me. They know I'm really nice. 

I'm generally known as patient and giving and offer people the benefit of the doubt.

But, those same people know that I have a line, and when it's crossed, I change, then simply cease the above.

Though, I will never be a jerk in the process.

Politeness, Professionalism and Maturity is always called for.

Being a jerk is not.

Think about a time when somebody cut you off or got irritated with you in the store - what did you do?

Did you get mad? Did you slam your hand down, or maybe yell at them?

Could you have just let it go? 

Or could you have dealt with it verbally, minus the drama?

We have a choice.

Being a jerk to someone whose not so nice to you won't ever make things better, and in the rare case that they may have just received some really bad news, and their mind just isn't with it at the moment, it's possible they don't realize they are doing it, and therefore do not deserve to be treated poorly, but instead need some compassion.

Some things to think about:

It's not always personal, so don't always take it as such.

How you act reflects upon you.

What you do will come back to you, so treat other's how you want to be treated.

And for those who deal with the aforementioned 'repeat-offending-purposeful-jerks'? 

Keep calm and carry on, because:

A) It still has nothing to do with you.

B) They're not worth the escalated blood pressure.

What do you NOT do and Why?

What Does It Mean to Reinvent Yourself

Many of the best of companies, car makers and entertainers have reinvented themselves.

Sometimes they are referred to as 'sell-outs', other times they're respected.

I consider them smart.

Bon Jovi was one who reinvented himselve. When he realized that the big hair bands of the 80's were not the way of the world anymore, he lopped off his locks, versed some new hits and is a success today because he evolved.

Everyone needs to renew themselves from time to time and since change is inevitable, the sooner we realize it, the smoother the transition will be.

Here are a list of people who've reinvented themselves successfully (sometimes more than once):

According to Don't Drink the Koolaid:
Michael Jackson reinvented himself 42 times
Apple – We at Bailey Gardiner are creative people. What would we do without our Macs? Apple started a revolution in the 70’s when it first launched its brand. Skip past a few years of failed reinvention attempts… fast forward through the launch of the iMac … which takes us to present day in which Apple has a unique reputation for creating shiny products with an aesthetically-pleasing design, like the iPhone, iPod and Macbook.  I like the shiny.
Gucci – Tom Ford joined Gucci in 1990 when the company was on the brink of liquidation. As the company’s creative director, Tom Ford transformed and saved the brand. He revived the double G logo and added gloss and glamour to change fashion history.

Check out these sites (life just might be trying to tell you you could use a change):

An Funny but Inspiring Look at Reinvention

5 Easy Steps to Reinventing Yourself

Reboot Yourself

'Pursuit of Happyness': Chris Gardner gives tips for success

Fun Friday Quote

'If you think that nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.'

-Earl Wilson

Y.I. Ditched My New Year's Resolution List

Because I always seemed to either forget about them or give up on them....I have left my long standing New Year's Resolutions at the door.

I mean, yes, I believe in change (oh, do I) but, I truly think it's too easy to get overwhelmed working on a whole bunch of things at once...

Hence Why I ditched my New Year's Resolution list last year and replaced it with One Word.

Recently, I posted a few things about this One Word approach and I hope you will check it out.

Easy, but not too easy. Simplified, but not simple...I find it to be just right.

During the year, I feel that I work on the things I need to work on, you know, make adjustments as I go.
So, when New Year's comes around I usually over-do-it by making a big long list of things and get overloaded. Then,  I'm discouraged after just a short time...like by February 1st (Ugh).

So, last year, I decided to just stick to one word all year long that helped me focus better on almost anything I was doing.

Read about 2011's word: Grace

This time I chose Goals for 2012!

Last Year I chose Grace.

Read how I did:

Bad with Grace

Good with Grace

The trick will be, keeping Grace in action, 

while incorporating Goals...

It's both exciting and scary!

Yikes! 

Sounds tricky...

But, I think I'm up for the challenge.

No pain, no gain, right?

Throughout 2012, I will post updates and follow up stories about how I'm doing with my Goals.
Come back next week to find out how I plan on using this word!


I have already begun  my Goal list for the year...
and that's just the beginning.

Have you ditched New Year's resolutions? Why?

Or...

Will you be trying One Word instead?

Think you might like to try 

My One Word? 

visit MyOneWord.com 

or 

Test a New Year's Resolution? click here to read more

How to Be Mindful in the New Year

Ah, a new year 

and a clean slate.

I think everyone looks forward to this time of year, when we all get an opportunity to wipe out the last twelve months and start fresh. On January 1st I almost feel as if someone has breathed new life into me. My lungs are open, my eyes are focused and my body is full of energy. 

What is it about the first day of the New Year that makes us feel this way?

Is it because we now have a new list of things we are hopeful for? Is it that we can associate the new year with a new date, and so now we're able to leave the past behind us? Is it because the New Year really does promise us something special?

It's interesting that we think tomorrow into a different day than it was today...make ourselves believe we will be different than we were yesterday, just because the date changed.

Our minds are very powerful things.

Our mind is strong enough to make us do what I just mentioned and just about anything else we think about. But yet our brains can also discourage us enough to actually procrastinate and fail.

Our brain can be our best friend or our worst enemy.

And oddly enough, we have control over which one it is.

Ever hear these quotes: 

"Don't believe everything you think" or "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right"?

A profound book that goes into more detail on this subject is, 'Think & Grow Rich' by Napoleon Hill. 

It may sound as if the title suggests the only reason you ought to read it is because you want money. 

Well not entirely, because quoting from his first chapter:

Thoughts are Things:"The object of this book is to help all who seek it to learn the art of changing their minds from failure consciousness to success consciousness."

In the book, he describes how powerful the mind is and if we harness that knowledge, and power, we can succeed at anything. 

Or fail at anything. 

Towards the end of that chapter Hill makes this statement,  'we are the masters of our fate..." and that our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts which we hold in our minds...."

In his book, he describes things like:

•  Auto-suggestion and it's power over your success
•  The 31 major causes of failure
•  How decision plays a large part in your wealth

So, if you are looking at your New Year in a positive light, and are only expecting good things, you most presumably will have them. But, if you cannot envision happiness and success, determine whether or not your mind is on your side.

If it's not, tell your brain to get on board and check these out!

Amazon Books: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

LA Times: Does Your Brain Have A Mind of It's Own?

What Difference Does the Mind Make?

Good luck with your New Year's Goals and Resolutions-

 You can do anything you put your mind to!

Visit Y. I. on Wednesday to see which One Word I chose for 2012!